What do you say to a child who’s lost multiple loved ones and now lies awake, terrified of death? In this deeply compassionate episode, Dr Justin and Kylie Coulson unpack why repeated loss can create overwhelming bedtime anxiety, why it peaks when the lights go out, and the simple, research-backed ways parents can help. You’ll learn how to create safety, connection, and rituals that bring comfort — without minimising their grief or making false promises.

KEY POINTS

Multiple losses and cumulative grief
Why bedtime can trigger fears
Connection and presence over quick fixes or false assurances
Following your child’s lead
How to create closure for your child

QUOTE OF THE EPISODE
“What your child needs most isn’t for their fear to disappear — it’s to feel truly seen and understood in it.” – Dr Justin Coulson

RESOURCES

Understanding Grief in Children - Sage Journals
Studies on the default mode network and bedtime anxiety
Helping Kids Cope with Grief - a Conversation with Kristy Thomas
Cumulative Grief - Dr Bill Webster
The Journey of the Default Mode Network: Development, Function, and Impact on Mental Health

ACTION STEPS FOR PARENTS

Make bedtime a safe, calming ritual.
Be present in the moment.
Follow their emotional lead.
Use comfort objects.
Create closure rituals.

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Supporting a Grieving, Anxious Child