Rashmi Shetty – When You Let Go Of External Validation the World Opens Up

Apr 27, 2021

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BIO: Rashmi Shetty is a Voice and Attitudinal Coach and a Professional Certified Coach from ICF. She brings decades of work experience in various sectors such as academia, hospitality, storytelling, consulting, coaching, radio anchoring, and emceeing.

STORY: As a shy young lady in college, Rashmi decided to try out for the Union council secretary, but when it was time to deliver her campaign speech, she froze. The whole school booed her. This event was so embarrassing, and she carried this burden for years only to find out recently that nobody really thought much about it after the elections.

LEARNING: People are a lot less interested in you than you think they are. Everyone has their own life to look into, and you’re the last on that list. So just chill, make or break those failures, learn from them and move on.

“The moment you start giving external validation importance, you stop looking inward.”

Rashmi Shetty

Guest profile

Rashmi Shetty is a Voice and Attitudinal Coach and a Professional Certified Coach from ICF. She brings decades of work experience in various sectors such as academia, hospitality, storytelling, consulting, coaching, radio anchoring, and emceeing.

A keynote and motivational speaker, she believes, “Your ATTITUDE decides your ALTITUDE.” A national and international award winner for scripting and narrating radio documentaries, she was honored with the “Iconic woman creating a better world for all” award in July 2020 from the Women Economic Forum and is also an active member of a global body called Climate Coaching Alliance.

Worst investment ever

When Rashmi was young, she was super shy. She could barely talk in front of more than one person. She did not know how to get over her shyness.

Forgetting about her shyness for a minute

When Rashmi was in her final year of graduation, the Union at her college was up for election. Being who she was, she did not even aspire to take a position. She was surprised when one of her classmates, a class representative, suggested that Rashmi nominate herself for secretary. This was the most coveted position in the Union.

Rashmi forgot just how shy she was and jumped right into the idea. They went and filed the nomination forms, and later she wrote her speech. She believed this would be her best investment ever to get into leadership and fame.

The defining moment

The reality of what Rashmi had got herself into hit her on the day of the election. She was all set. She could say her speech backward. But when she reached the auditorium and saw 5,000 girls staring at her, she froze. With a lot of difficulties, she climbed up the podium and reached the stage.

Rashmi’s speech was crumbled entirely. When she looked at it, two big drops of tears followed. Not a single word came out of her mouth. What Rashmi set out as the best investment turned out to be the worst because a little into that moment, by the time she could assimilate what was happening, the girls started booing because nobody knew her name. They did not even know who was talking to them. She said something, then ran backstage and burst out crying.

Carrying the unnecessary burden of shame for years

Rashmi was so ashamed that the whole college would now know her and laugh and scoff at her. She carried this experience with her for years, constantly feeling embarrassed. A few years ago, at a college reunion, when sharing their embarrassing moments, she realized that everybody forgot the incident as soon as she left the podium, yet she had let it bother her for years.

Lessons learned

Life is not about external validation

Most of us stop living the moment external validation stops. But life is not about external validation. What makes a difference is who you are on the inside. That is what helps you turn out to be what you eventually become.

People do not care that much about your failures

Do not concern yourself about what other people will think about your failures. Everyone has their own life to look into, and you are the last on that list. So just chill, make or break those failures, learn from them and move on.

Andrew’s takeaways

Failure is good

Sometimes, when we do a complete wipeout and do not do an excellent job on something, it is essential to remember that it can only get better. This kind of failure powers you up to your greatness. Whether it is public speaking or any other thing that we’re trying to excel at, sometimes we need to fail a little bit. Then from that, we become focused.

Actionable advice

Get out of your comfort zone because real life and promise are on the other side. You never know what is on the other side till you get out of it. All of us draw this comfort zone around which we excel, and getting out of that space will only show you how much more you are capable of because your comfort zone is your limitation. The moment you step out of it to try something, maybe the first time you will fail, it is worth it because what comes out of it is way beyond what you can see yourself.

No. 1 goal for the next 12 months

Rashmi’s number one goal for the next 12 months is to use her new program, Vani, to reach out to as many women as possible, so they know they have it all in them. She wants to motivate them to step up and voice out.

Parting words

“The universe has its plan in place, so don’t stick to muscle memory. Allow yourself to get out there and explore. When you do that, life will be beautiful.”