Sara Showalter Van Tongeren is a licensed clinical social worker and therapist (and happens to be the wife of frequent pod guest Darrell Van Tongeren). She joins me to discuss religious trauma, spiritual abuse, and the process of religious belief change — areas where both Sara and I work with clients professionally.
Sarah explains that for many, religion answers fundamental existential questions about freedom, identity, isolation, death, and meaning. When religious certainty is shaken, this leaves people without tools to address these questions and creates a crisis of meaning. We discuss the importance of developing "existential resilience" — the ability to navigate uncertainty and both light and dark aspects of existence after leaving religious frameworks.
In the Patreon second half, we discuss embodiment in healing religious trauma, rebuilding meaning systems, and how therapeutic relationships can model healthy patterns of rupture and repair lacking in many religious contexts.
My instagram: @theexistentialtherapist
LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/sara-showalter-van-tongeren
Group Practice Website: https://www.theflourishingco.org/
My website (no shoes): https://saravantongeren.com/
Therapist Centered Group Consultation: https://www.therapeuticgroupconsultation.com/videos
Everett Worthington's work on Forgiveness with free handbook/resources: https://www.evworthington-forgiveness.com/diy-workbooks
Highlights:
09:46 The Fluidity of Religious Trauma
14:50 Existential Questions and Religious Beliefs
24:55 Resilience in the Face of Spiritual Abuse
30:11 Coping Mechanisms and Grounding Techniques
43:30 Fighting Back with Cognitive Therapy
50:40 The Importance of Community in Healing
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Or Twitter: twitter.com/DanKoch
Faith deconstruction resources: www.soyouredeconstructing.com/
Edited by Josh Gilbert (joshgilbertmedia.com -- he is accepting more work!)
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