194 Reimagining Relationships

11 snips

Mar 8, 2025

Explore the transformative journey of redefining relationships beyond traditional norms. Delve into the vital role of imagination and the significance of grief work in forging new connections. Learn about creating safe spaces for emotional expression and the importance of structured plans during changes. Discover how managing expectations and emotional resilience can enhance partnerships. Embrace the courage to let go while honoring your history, paving the way for beautiful new forms of connection.

Ask episode

AI Snips

Chapters

Books

Transcript

Episode notes

INSIGHT

Reimagining vs. De-escalation/Uncoupling

Reimagining relationships implies continuity and a commitment to continue.
It differs from de-escalation, which involves retracing steps, or uncoupling, which implies ending.

INSIGHT

Imagination's Role

Our imagination shapes our relationships and includes assumptions about them.
Reimagining involves actively shaping our vision of the relationship.

ADVICE

Beyond Monogamous Thinking

Monogamous thinking limits options to staying or breaking up when relationships face challenges.
Consider creating space for unknown possibilities beyond these limited options.

Get the Snipd Podcast app to discover more snips from this episode

Get the app

When something isn't working, even if you’ve been practicing non-monogamy for a long time, it’s really easy to default into the monogamous paradigm, which offers only a few set options. But what if there was another way?

Reimagining a relationship means creating something new. It's different from de-escalation (which implies undoing a path you've taken) or uncoupling (which implies ending). Instead, reimagining opens space to explore what your relationship could become if you moved beyond your current ideas of what it is or was supposed to be.

This process requires courage, patience, and a willingness to step into the unknown together. It's challenging work, but it can lead to beautiful new forms of connection that honor both your history and your ability to grow and change.

In this episode, we talk about:

— Why reimagining is different from de-escalation or uncoupling, and how it implies continuity rather than ending

— The importance of acknowledging that our imagination is our relationship in many ways

— How mononormativity limits our options when relationships need to change (stay together, break up, or be miserable)

— The necessity of creating a "liminal container" – a dedicated time and space for the reimagining process

— Why grief work is essential before you can truly reimagine something new

— The challenge of letting go of what was while maintaining connection

— How repair work fits into reimagination (hint: you can't skip it!)

— The importance of nervous system regulation during times of uncertainty

— Why creating new, explicit agreements is crucial for your reimagined relationship

— The value of celebrating when you successfully reimagine a relationship into something new

— How the language of "reimagining" itself can be empowering and create possibilities

Resources mentioned in this episode:

— The Wild Edge of Sorrow by Francis Weller

— Episode 152: How to Take Intentional Relationship Breaks

— Episode 172: Grieving Change

JOIN The Year Of Opening® community for a full year of learning & support. Registration is open now at ⁠⁠www.TheYearOfOpening.com⁠⁠

Learn the 5 secrets to open your relationship the smart way

Are you ready to open your relationship happily? Find out at www.JoliQuiz.com

Get the answers you want to create the open relationship of your dreams! Sign up for an Ask Me Anything here

Music: Dance of Felt by ⁠Blue Dot Sessions