From Crisis to Connection - with Geoff & Jody Steurer How to stop enabling others - Geoff Steurer & Valerie Hamaker - Episode 102
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About Geoff Steurer:
I am a licensed marriage and family therapist, relationship educator, and coach with over 24 years of experience. I am the co-author of, "Love You, Hate the Porn: Healing a Relationship Damaged by Virtual Infidelity", the host of the weekly podcast, "From Crisis to Connection", and have produced workbooks, audio programs, and online courses helping couples and individuals heal from the impact of sexual betrayal, unwanted pornography use, partner betrayal trauma, and rebuilding broken trust. As a leader in the field, I am a frequent contributor on these subjects at national conferences, documentaries, blogs, magazines, and podcasts. I also write a weekly relationship advice column available on my blog. I founded and ran an outpatient sexual addiction and betrayal trauma recovery group program for over 14 years, co-founded and chaired a local conference to educate community members about harmful media, and founded and administered a specialized group therapy practice for over 12 years. I currently maintain a private counseling and coaching practice in beautiful Southern Utah where I live with my wife and children.
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Podcast Description
Join me and fellow therapist, Valerie Hamaker, as we riff about all things enabling. This episode is a replay of an episode we recorded for her podcast, "Voice About Living" and is the follow up to a previous episode where she interviews a former client about her enabling patterns. In this episode, we discuss:
- Why do we enable harmful behaviors in our loved ones?
- How does this happen?
- How can we know that we are enabling?
- How does the enabler feel?
- And most importantly, how do we stop enabling and heal our relationships from this pattern?
This is episode 97 from Valerie's podcast that provides background and context for our interview: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/voices-about-living/id1474263480?i=1000524513562
Listen to Valerie's Podcast:
https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/voices-about-living/id1474263480
https://open.spotify.com/show/26D8Ty9ItzpYbbkaMPTxBE?si=OLZtsMgGTNq9M2XvYUD9Mg&nd=1
More on Valerie's Background:
Valerie Hamaker has a Master’s Degree in counseling from MidAmerica Nazarene University with special training in marriage and family counseling. She is a Nationally Certified Counselor, a licensed professional counselor in Kansas and a provisionally licensed counselor in Missouri. She is a certified Sexual Addictions Treatment Provider and completing coursework to be a Certified Play Therapist. Valerie is a certified Prepare and Enrich marriage facilitator and has also completed Dave Ramsey’s Financial Coaching Masters Series. She also has a Master’s degree from UMKC and a Bachelor’s Degree from Brigham Young University.
Valerie owns and operates her own marriage and family counseling private practice called All About Attachment, LLC. Valerie enjoys working with individuals and couples in all life stages, weaving elements of emotional, spiritual, mental, and relationship wellness into her clinical work. Valerie has clinical experience working with high risk teens and recently she and her two adolescent daughters launched an anti-bullying campaign sponsored by the popular Discovery Girls Magazine, which they presented to over 500 adolescents in local schools and churches.
Valerie enjoys presenting on issues of marriage, family, and faith and has had many opportunities to do so over the past twenty years in professional, academic, community, and ecclesiastical settings. She is currently engaged in a qualitative research project focusing on the changing nature of intimacy due to the heavy influence of technology and social media. The most important part of Valerie’s life is her relationship with God and she feels fortunate that her work in counseling allows her to serve God, to be constantly attentive to improving her relationship with her own husband and their four children, and to work closely with those who seek her services.
The advice offered through Geoff Steurer's podcasts is educational and informational in nature and is provided only as general information. It is not meant to establish a therapist-patient relationship or offer therapeutic advice, opinion, diagnosis treatment or to establish a standard of care. Although Geoff Steurer is a trained psychotherapist, he is not functioning in the role of a licensed therapist during these podcasts, but rather using his training to inform the content. Thus, the content is not intended to replace independent professional judgment. The content is not intended to solicit clients or patients, and should not be relied upon as medical or psychological advice of any kind or nature whatsoever. The information provided through the Content should not be used for diagnosing or treating a mental health problem or disease. The information contained in these communications is not comprehensive and does not include all the potential information regarding the subject matter, but is merely intended to serve as one resource for general and educational purposes.