Almost Adulting with Violet Benson Relationship to RelationSH*T ft. Jessica Baum
Are things ever going TOO well so your brain forces you to mess it up?
Trust me, you’re not alone! As part of our human nature, we yearn for genuine love and affection. We tend to gravitate toward relationships that will reinforce our need for affection and validate our feelings. We always search for someone who can be there with us when we feel lost and helpless, and someone who can embrace us even when we feel unworthy of love. Sounds simple enough right? But if all of that is true, why do all of my relationships keep turning into relationsh*ts?! Well today besties, we’re getting some answers.
Today, we have Jessica Baum. Jessica is a psychotherapist, author, thought leader, relationship coach, and founder of the Be Self-full® - a company that provides tailored coaching services, helping women empower themselves. Out of the four relationship attachment styles, Violet and Jessica put their focus on the Anxious and Avoidant style and why people who possess these attachment styles are easily drawn to each other. So if you’re wondering why things can be going GREAT only for your brain to shut down and force you to run away, you’re about to find out! Don’t worry, you’re not as messed up as you think you are. The duo also talks about how love bombing, despite its negative connotation online, can be pleasantly genuine, how to set healthy boundaries for you and your relationships, how we actually CAN get addicted to a person, and why we are responsible for our own anxiety. We’re unpacking A LOT today - but whatever it is you do, do NOT text your ex after this. So hit play and listen up!
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What to Listen For:
- 00:00 Introduction
- 01:09 What’s your attachment style?
- 06:42 Avoidant and anxious styles both fear intimacy
- 08:14 Anxious-avoidant dance
- 12:52 Genuine love bombing
- 15:22 Partner with someone who could stay calm for you
- 19:39 How can you help a partner with anxious attachment style
- 26:33 Setting boundaries without hurting other people
- 29:17 From really good to really bad relationships real fast
- 30:41 Why do we tend to self-sabotage?
- 33:33 How is the nervous system related to our relationship?
- 35:26 Is it possible to get addicted to someone?
- 38:50 What is a healthy chemistry like?
- 40:59 Anxious people are responsible for their own anxiety
- 43:19 How do you recognize an unhealthy pattern in your love life?
- 47:45 What does it mean to be “Be Self Full”?
- 50:37 Self full is all about love
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