Mark speaks with Jeremy Pollack, a social psychologist and conflict resolution consultant. Jeremy’s company, Pollack Peacebuilding Systems,  teaches leaders and employees how to communicate more effectively and rebuild mutual trust through coaching, training, and conflict resolution services. His company has helped dozens of other companies, large and small, in all varieties of industries around the world, to resolve conflicts and foster greater peace.

Key Takeaways:

Care comes first. People need to feel safe, respected, and accepted at an identity level. To be able to solve a conflict with a person, you need to find out what’s threatening them. People have to know that you hear them, you care about them, and are actually considering what they're saying. As soon as they feel heard, their defenses come down, they can breathe a little bit, and they're more able to have a conversation about solutions.

The connection between martial arts and peacebuilding. If you're learning from a good teacher, martial arts is not about violence. At its core, martial arts is built on embodying a level of humble confidence that allows you to feel confident, grounded and present wherever you are. This is so translatable to conflict resolution, because as a peacebuilder, you have to be humble, but you also have to be confident enough to hold a neutral space so that people can feel safe to express and explore.

Conflict resolution vs. peacebuilding. Conflict resolution is about being able to solve an acute problem, whereas peacebuilding recognizes that there are presenting problems that could be resolved, but there's a larger system-wide structural or cultural situation that's allowing these types of conflicts to emerge. When we peacebuild, we address both the acute conflicts and the long-term structural elements that are causing these types of conflicts over and over again.

Breaking free from conflict identities. Many people form identities around being victims, being in conflict, or being in control. And if that identity is threatened, it leaves a large gap in the way people see themselves. When someone finally decides...