The Baffling Behavior Show {Parenting after Trauma}

Ep. 163: Felt Safety (Between) - Part 3

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Jan 30, 2024

Explore how safety cues emerge from relationships and influence emotional well-being. The discussion highlights the contagious nature of nervous systems and how personal interactions shape feelings of safety. Learn why understanding the dynamics of connection is vital for parenting, especially with children who struggle to feel secure. Discover practical strategies to enhance connection and foster a sense of safety, even amidst the challenges of parenting. This insightful conversation emphasizes the transformative power of relational dynamics in personal and parental growth.

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INSIGHT

Felt Safety Cues

People constantly scan for connection, asking, "Are you there?"
True connection cues safety, not specific behaviors, as neuroception assesses the other person's nervous system state.

INSIGHT

Neuroception and Connection

Neuroception detects if someone is in connection or protection mode.
We can't fake connection; neuroception senses nervous system states, especially in power dynamics.

INSIGHT

Nervous System Contagion

Nervous systems are contagious, especially impacting those in hierarchical relationships.
Adults in protection mode trigger trauma memories in children with complex trauma histories, making co-regulation crucial.

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Cues of safety, danger, or life threat come from three places- inside, outside, and between.

In part 3 of this series on felt safety, we are exploring felt safety from between- from relationship!

In this episode, you’ll learn

How availability of connection is a cue of safety or danger
How neuroception can tell the state of the other person’s nervous system (connection or protection?)
Why nervous systems are contagious
How ‘between’ cues of safety eventually become ‘inside’ cues of safety
How you can increase your own experience of safety even when you are parenting children in stuck in chronic procession mode

Resources mentioned in this podcast:

Connection Or Protection??? {Ep 7}
When Your Nervous System Is Fried {Ep 139}
Influence Behaviors, Not Control {Ep 101}
Amanda Diekman’s Book! - Low-Demand Parenting

Read the full transcript at: RobynGobbel.com/feltsafetybetween

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