Deborah Tannen on gendered speech, Hillary Clinton, Donald Trump, and you

Nov 1, 2016

Deborah Tannen is a Georgetown University linguist and bestselling author renowned for her insights on gendered communication. In a deep dive, she explores how communication styles differ between men and women, drawing connections to political figures like Hillary Clinton and Donald Trump. Tannen highlights how interruptions and cultural norms can lead to miscommunication, explains the significance of African-American Vernacular English, and introduces concepts of conversational style that impact daily interactions. Her insights offer practical tools for understanding and improving our conversations.

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ANECDOTE

Recording Thanksgiving Revealed Overlap Vs. Interruption

Deborah Tannen recorded dinner conversations and found New Yorkers often talk over each other as enthusiastic listenership.
Californians interpreted that overlap as interruption, revealing cross-cultural conversational mismatches.

INSIGHT

Conversational Style Shapes Meaning

Conversational style comprises choices like words, rhythm, directness, and framing that shape meaning beyond literal content.
These styles form from upbringing and vary by region, class, gender, and other social factors.

INSIGHT

Kids' Play Predicts Adult Gender Talk

Childhood play patterns help explain adult gendered communication: girls use talk to build closeness, boys use talk to negotiate status.
Those early patterns produce recurring misunderstandings in adult friendships and relationships.

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To understand the 2012 election, you had to ask a political scientist. To understand the 2016 election, you need to call a linguist.At least, I did. Deborah Tannen is a Georgetown University linguist who's done pioneering work in how men and women's communication styles differ. Her book You Just Don't Understand: Women and Men in Conversation, was on the New York Times best seller list for nearly four years, including eight months as number one. But I got to know her earlier this year, as part of a reporting project to understand Hillary Clinton's leadership style, and the ways in which it's lost — and even a liability — on the campaign trail.Tannen's work has helped me understand not just Clinton and Trump's communication styles, but my own — her analysis of how men and women communication at home, and in the workplace, is useful no matter who you are. This episode, more than any other I've done, is full of practical insight into situations we all face daily. Among our topics:-How she became a linguist-Why everyone in her doctoral program was recording the conversations at dinner parties-The ways in which linguistics can solve the same problems as psychology-How cultural attitudes about interruptions and silence lead to miscommunication and frustration (I found this one *very* relevant)-The debate over African-American Vernacular English, and the crucial research that both powered it, and has been forgotten about it -The components of what she calls “conversational style” and how they vary depending on who you are-How gender roles can create conflict within relationships, even just in end-of-the-day check-ins with your partner-Why women are perceived to speak more than men, even when they're speaking less-How gendered forms of communication have changed perceptions of Hillary Clinton-Why she tries to never use the word "sexism" when discussing evaluations of Clinton and other female politicians-How expectations of good leadership are caught up in gendered ideas of what leaders look and sound likeAnd so, so much more. Enjoy!

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