ERP 291: How “Love Is Not Enough” - An Interview With Dr. Stan Tatkin

Oct 26, 2021

45:13

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Understanding why love is not enough in an empowered relationship can be a challenge. So in this episode, Dr. Stan Tatkin helps us recognize some of the most common biological and human factors that take us off track when creating intentionality in a relationship. Having a scientific framework that allows us to understand why we need more than love helps us create a shared vision for our relationships.

By unpacking common causes of relationship challenges, we can learn how to commit fully to a loving partnership and ensure it remains a beautiful and fulfilling experience.

Stan Tatkin, PsyD, MFT, is a clinician, author, researcher, PACT developer, and co-founder of the PACT Institute. Dr. Tatkin is an assistant clinical professor at UCLA, David Geffen School of Medicine. He maintains a private practice in Southern California and leads PACT programs in the US and internationally. He is the author of We Do, Wired for Love, Your Brain on Love, Relationship RX, Wired for Dating, and co-author of Love and War in Intimate Relationships.

Check out the transcript to this episode in Dr. Jessica Higgin's website.

In this episode:

09:35 Why the basic human being is not built for long term relationships

12:25 Going passively into a relationship assuming that love is the key to success is not the best approach to take

14:05 The inner development that we have to commit to can sometimes be challenging

19:03 Stan shares his practical tips on how to create a shared purpose and vision as a couple

33:29 The importance of being cognizant of that we continue to evolve as individuals while developing our purpose, vision, governance, and ethics as a couple

33:48 Why we should intentionally create form-fitting principles to ground our relationship

40:32 How PACT can help couples improve their relationships

Mentioned

We Do: Saying Yes to a Relationship of Depth, True Connection, and Enduring Love, by Stan Tatkin (*Amazon Link)
Wired for Love: How Understanding Your Partner’s Brain and Attachment Style Can Help You Defuse Conflict and Build a Secure Relationship, by Stan Tatkin (*Amazon Link)
Your Brain on Love: The Neurobiology of Healthy Relationships, by Stan Tatkin (*Amazon Link)
Relationship Rx, by Stan Tatkin (*Amazon Link)
Wired for Dating: How Understanding Neurobiology and Attachment Style Can Help You Find Your Ideal Mate, by Stan Tatkin (*Amazon Link)
Love and War in Intimate Relationships: Connection, Disconnection, and Mutual Regulation in Couple Therapy, by Stan Tatkin (*Amazon Link)
Relationship Road Map