Deep Listening - Impact beyond words - Oscar Trimboli Listen like a mediator - Ebohr Figueroa examines the positive power of conflict
Ebohr Figueroa is the principal consultant for Converge International. In this episode, Ebohr and I take a magical tour through modern corporate Australia. He is a world-class moderator who opens a window into modern corporations. He looks at conflict and totally deconstructs it. We learn what is disempowering about conflict avoidance. We also learn what is productive when conflict is managed well.
How many conflicts are you a part of right now? What role do you play in trying to avoid these conflicts? Ebohr provides fantastic tips on how to make progress through conflict. The goal is to do this in a way that supported, productive, and impactful. We really deep dive into conflict resolution in the corporate workplace, and Ebohr offers amazing insights.
Today’s Topics:
- Constructing a vessel where we feel safe includes having core values like being kind, being courteous, being honest, being thoughtful of others, having a sense of humor, and recognizing that we are all human and can be misunderstood when we get stressed.
- We need to have the courage to check in with colleagues if we say something that is inappropriate.
- Managers need to be able to call behavior problems when they observe it.
- We also need to be compassionate and understanding.
- We may see a colleague with bad behavior and not understand that they may be struggling with personal issues.
- There is an appropriate way to do that without having it turn into gossip.
- We should also be careful that we aren’t fanning the flames of conflict.
- Recognizing power dynamics and practicing feedback.
- Role modeling and still being human when wearing your manager’s hat.
- Find a mentor to practice conflict resolution. Be aware of factors that create a positive work culture such as making people feel valued and recognize. Also be mindful of social values and understand that people will place value on different things.
- Creating a safe environment and creating context.
- Managers should also practice coaching their team members.
- How people can sometimes feel trivialized to not heard when their mediations are swept under the carpet.
- Ebohr asks many questions until he finds the person who can give detailed context, so he can understand what is actually going on.
- He meets with people individually, but they sometime have a support member with them.
- To prepare Ebohr clears his mind and sets an intention to listen and understand.
- Mediations where some people don’t speak English well. Some are aware or self-conscious of their accents.
- There are nuances to language that can be lost.
- Finding what is important to a person and what makes them feel validated. A misunderstanding is just the tip of the iceberg.
- Listening deliberately for what is unsaid and listening beyond the obvious.
- You often get the most crucial piece of information towards the end of the conversation.
- Listening with vulnerability and creating barriers. Ebohr shares a trip that he went on with his dad.
Links and Resources:
Quotes:
“In order for tension to be received well, an environment has to be created where it’s safe for me to say those things.” Ebohr Figueroa
“We need to have an acceptance that we are all fallible and yet also commit to a baseline of positive human traits.” Ebohr Figueroa
Want to create a big impact? Subscribe to the Deep Listening podcast and never miss an episode.
If you have any suggestions, questions or recommendations for people to interview for podcast please email podcast@oscartrimboli.com.
Listen For Free