Kimberley Lafferty (Part 3) – The Path of Wisdom, Heart, and Ethics: A Developmental Perspective on the Journey of Awakening

Ep. 176 (Part 3 of 3) | Longtime spiritual practitioner, gifted teacher, Tibetan Buddhist lama, and developmental psychology specialist Kimberley Lafferty integrates contemporary psychology and wisdom tradition in this lively, luminous conversation about the process of awakening, the evolution of ethics, and the extraordinary capacities that come online as we mature into later stages of development. What do developmental perspectives have to add to our understanding of human nature and to spiritual practice? Our meaning-making shifts radically as we develop, Kimberley says, and because of that our reality itself shifts. This is why communicating with people with very different points of view can fail so miserably—one person’s reality is simply not the same as the next person’s reality. We need to discern, what is their meaning-making reality in this moment? What is ours?

Throughout, Kimberley grounds the discussion in practical, real-life scenarios; she also shares intriguing research on later stage development that has found that as we mature, our senses evolve: our hearing evolves to deep attunement; our seeing evolves to witnessing, our capacity of touch evolves to embody presence. It’s exciting and inspiring to see the road ahead, to acquire new insights and tools to improve communication across cultural (and age) divides, to have the concept of bodhicitta unpacked so deftly and common misperceptions about emptiness corrected—and to witness Kimberley’s wise and zesty approach to life: “What connects us all is our luminous, aware consciousness,” she says, “and if we can lean into the messiness, I think we can find our way through.” Recorded October 3, 2024.

“How can I reconstruct myself to be truth, goodness, and beauty?”

Topics & Time Stamps – Part 3

• What are some of the capacities that come online as people mature? (01:26)
• At late stage development, people awaken to individual construction; this is meta-awareness or 5th person perspective (03:40)
• It’s like waking up in a lucid dream and realizing you’re dreaming (06:00)
• How can I reconstruct myself to be truth, goodness, and beauty? (07:24)
• Development is a balloon, not a ladder (10:15)
• How developmental theory illuminates broader perspective taking: the capacity of skillful means (13:12)
• Siddhis (transpersonal powers) start to come on: precognitive capacities, the capacity of empathy (16:24)
• What challenges come about as we develop? (17:40)
• What connects us is our luminous, aware consciousness—if we can lean into the messiness, we can find our way through (22:43)
• What are humans becoming? The possibility of becoming trans-human (25:28)
• In later stages, our senses evolve: our hearing evolves to deep attunement; our seeing evolves to witnessing, to see through time and space, our capacity of touch evolves to embody presence (28:49)
• Seeing polarities rather than opposites: polarities are the building blocks of how we construct reality (31:50)
• Bodhicitta taps us into our ultimate nature (35:12)
• Correcting misperceptions of the bodhisattva vow (40:34)
• The tradition of debate in the Tibetan-Buddhist tradition (42:30)
• You are not alone; there is spiritual support available (45:36)

Resources & References

• Kimberley Lafferty’s website: The Confluence Experience (Education, Community, Experiences)
• 12-month living immersion in the STAGES matrix with Terri O’Fallon & Kimberley Lafferty
• The Association for Spiritual Integrity (ASI)
• Vajrayana Buddhism
• Huston Smith, The World’s Religions
• His Holiness the Dalai Lama, The Art of Happiness: A Handbook for Living
• Ken Wilber’s Integral Theory
• Dan Brown, Buddhist meditation teacher and author
• Abraham Maslow, Toward a Psychology of Being
• Roger Walsh, Essential Spirituality: The 7 Central Practices to Awaken Heart and Mind
• Brian Daizen Victoria, Zen at War
• The A. H. Almaas Wisdom Series (Deep Transformation podcast series)

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Kimberley Theresa Lafferty is a seasoned teacher-practitioner specializing in constructive developmental psychology and Indo-Tibetan Vajrayana. She leads multi-year, private spiritual education cohorts with the Confluence Experience, and co-leads, with Terri O’Fallon, the penultimate Minds I year-long developmental course of Stages International. She is an active Board member for the Association for Spiritual Integrity. Kimberley is also a wife and mother to a young son, living in a remote valley of the North Cascades of North America which deeply impacts her worldview and practice.

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Podcast produced by Vanessa Santos and Show Notes by Heidi Mitchell