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The Virtual Couch

Yes, We're Talking New Year’s Resolutions (and Goals, and Kale) – But Stick with Me, It's Not What You Think!

Dec 28, 2023
48:00

Tony addresses why so many New Year’s resolutions don’t last and explores the concept of value-based goals and the importance of aligning them with personal values for the sake of authenticity and lasting change. He discusses the shortcomings of the SMART (Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Relevant, and Time-bound) goal-setting method. He plays clips from an interview with his friend Neal Hooper about their discoveries on incorporating Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) into the goal-setting process. Neal introduces the elements necessary for genuine progress and fulfillment - the 'why' and 'how' of making SMARTER goals. Drawing from the principles of ACT and illustrating through the story of the client “Jason’s” transformational journey, he emphasizes the significance of acceptance, committed action, and psychological flexibility. The episode also points out the need to view setbacks as opportunities for growth, not pitfalls, and illustrates the importance of flexibility in goal setting.


00:00 Introduction: The Struggle with Traditional Goal-Setting

01:27 Meet the Host: Tony Overbay and His Podcasts

03:11 The Problem with New Year's Resolutions

06:48 The SMART Goals Method: An Overview

08:21 Jason's Story: A Case Study in Goal Setting

09:27 The Limitations of SMART Goals: Jason's Experience

14:26 The Shift to Values-Driven Goals

15:00 Jason's Transformation: Embracing a Holistic Approach

22:27 Conclusion: The Power of Mindfulness and Acceptance in Goal Setting

23:01 Challenges and Old Habits

23:24 Acceptance and Compassion in Change

24:10 The Power of Small Victories

24:42 Aligning Goals with Personal Values

25:13 The Pitfalls of Yo-Yo Dieting

25:42 The Pushup Challenge: A Personal Journey

26:25 Embracing Acceptance and Commitment Therapy

27:27 The Power of Daily Commitment

29:56 The Importance of Why and How in Goal Setting

30:22 The Role of Shame in Goal Setting

30:56 The Problem with Traditional Goal Setting

31:19 The Importance of Perceived Value and Capability in Goals

34:36 The Power of Smarter Goals

41:58 The Misconception of Committed Action

43:25 The Role of Setbacks in Growth

44:14 Embracing Discomfort and Doubt

44:42 Conclusion: The Power of ACT Principles


Find all the latest links to podcasts, courses, Tony's newsletter, and more at https://linktr.ee/virtualcouch


Please follow Tony’s new Waking Up to Narcissism Instagram account here https://www.instagram.com/wutnpod/


Subscribe to Tony's latest podcast, "Waking Up to Narcissism Q&A - Premium Podcast," on the Apple Podcast App. 


https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/waking-up-to-narcissism-q-a/id1667287384


Go to http://tonyoverbay.com/workshop to sign up for Tony's "Magnetize Your Marriage" virtual workshop. The cost is only $19, and you'll learn the top 3 things you can do NOW to create a Magnetic Marriage. 


You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program, The Path Back, by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs and podcasts.


Tony mentioned a product that he used to take out all of the "uh's" and "um's" that, in his words, "must be created by wizards and magic!" because it's that good! To learn more about Descript, click here https://descript.com?lmref=bSWcEQ



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