ERP 119: How To Build Trust With Your Partner – Part Two

Over the last several months, I have been getting questions from listeners around the issue of trust and how to build trust in a relationship. While trust is fundamental to the success of happy, lasting love, many of us are at a loss of how to develop it.

In last weeks episode, I offered you 2 of the 5 tips in how to build trust with your partner. I encourage you to check it out if you missed it.

Please listen to the podcast episode or read the transcript to hear stories, explanations, and examples.

Trust can feel like such a big, diffuse topic and it can be difficult to pinpoint "what is trust." To help with this, I discuss Brené Brown's talk on The Anatomy of Trust, where she offers important components of trust, which is based on her research and findings.

To explain what trust is, Brené Brown gives us an acronym to work with: B.R.A.V.I.N.G.

THE ANATOMY OF TRUST, BY BRENÉ BROWN

B – Boundaries To know what works for you and what does not work for you, and the ability to set limits with people. We are clear about the other person's boundaries and we respect them.

R – Reliability We do what we say we're going to do, and we can reply on each other…over and over again. It also means being aware of our limitations and not committing to more than we can handle.

A – Accountability We take responsibility for our part. When we make a mistake, we are willing to own it, apologize for it, and make amends. When the other person makes a mistake, we allow them to own it, apologize for it, and make amends.

V – Vault We have discernment of what we share with others. We hold each other confidence. In our relationship, we both show that we acknowledge confidentiality by also not sharing secrets third parties have shared with us.

I – Integrity We behave in ways that are consistent with our values and priorities, even if it is uncomfortable, inconvenient, and/or difficult. We choose what is right over what is easy and fun. Integrity is "practicing your values, not just professing them" by Brené Brown.

N – Non-Judgement When I am vulnerable, I can turn to you. I know you will be there for me when I am struggling or hurting. I know I will be there for you when you are down, in pain, or having a difficult time. We foster a safe space by withholding judgment and offering care.

G – Generosity We have each other's best interest in mind. We believe in each other and we give each other the benefit of the doubt. In moments, where we have wonder and question about something, we make a generous assumption or at least suspend judgment.

Check out Brené Brown's talk on The Anatomy of Trust to hear her stories and description as she breaks down the components of trust.

Next week, I will offer you 3 of the 5 tips in HOW to build trust with your partner.

MENTIONED:

• ERP 118: How to build trust with your partner (podcast)
• Brené Brown's The Anatomy of Trust (video of her talk)
• Photo by Dane Deaner on Unsplash

TRANSCRIPT:

Click on this link to access the transcript for this episode: ERP 119: How To Build Trust With Your Partner Part Two [Transcript]

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