If you're a man who has sex with women, chances are extremely high you've slept with a woman with sexual trauma. Signs can include: she avoids sex (even if she used to want it); she dissociates during sex (she's checked out, not into it, or it feels like she's not really there); she physically pushes you away; and more.
It takes a lot of trust for someone to let you know this is part of their history. And if she does tell you, or the two of you discover this, what then? When your wife or girlfriend is a survivor of sexual trauma (child sexual abuse, rape, sexual assault), it affects your sex life. For example, how do you balance your own need for a vibrant, healthy sex life if she clearly doesn't want to talk about it? Here, we discuss how to navigate this dynamic, including both supporting your woman and speaking up about your own sexual needs.
Books referenced in this episode:
• Waking the Tiger: Healing Trauma by Peter Levine & Ann Frederick
• In an Unspoken Voice: How the Body Releases Trauma and Restores Goodness by Peter Levine & Gabor Mate
Dear Men: How to Rock Sex, Dating, and Relationships With Women