Respectful Parenting: Janet Lansbury Unruffled

How to be Strong Enough to Make the Really Big Changes

Oct 3, 2023

In this podcast, Janet Lansbury offers insights and strategies for parents facing challenges in changing habits and routines with their children. She discusses the guilt cycle parents experience and the importance of being a strong and kind leader. The podcast also covers communication and coping with changes in children's TV habits, the significance of firm boundaries, and fostering independence and finding joy in parenting.

28:23

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Quick takeaways

Creating a trusting relationship and involving children in decision-making can make it easier to implement changes.

Focusing on the present and believing in our ability to make decisions out of love can overcome parental guilt and regret.

Deep dives

Bolstering Ourselves to Make Big Changes

As parents, we often need to make changes with our children that they may strongly object to. This could include changing certain habits or routines, such as reducing TV time and encouraging more independent play. It can feel overwhelming and sometimes impossible to make these changes, especially when we are tired or the current habits provide short-term convenience. However, finding the energy to cope with the initial difficulties and having the conviction that these changes are in the child's best interest is key. Building trust with our children by being clear about the changes and involving them in the decision-making process can also make the transition easier.

Introduction

3min

The Power of Being a Strong and Kind Parent

10min

Being Strong for Our Children and Making Hard Decisions

3min

Communication and Coping with Changes in Children's TV Viewing Habits

3min

The Importance of Firm Boundaries and Avoiding Threats with Children

2min

Fostering Independence and Finding Joy in Parenting

10min

Our young kids are adaptable, so it's always possible for us to change routines, rules, and behavior patterns that we decide are no longer beneficial for us or them. Problem is, our kids are bound to object— loudly, vociferously, perhaps relentlessly—when these changes aren't their idea (which they seldom are). Our new plan may be met with whining, crying, screaming, even tantrums. And since we've played a central role in allowing our family's habits to take root, it’s natural to feel uncertain or even guilty for introducing new boundaries. As an insightful parent concerned about her children's excessive TV use writes: “Though I fully believe that changing our strategies and habits will improve our lives and relationships, taking these steps is so hard that I find myself just doing the usual thing and beating myself up about it instead of doing anything different.” Another parent writes that she feels trapped by her toddler's refusal to play without her presence, but she's afraid to make changes because she's uncomfortable with upsetting him: “I feel I’m stumbling and, in the process, feel myself losing the joy of parenting.” Janet offers ideas for helping parents find the perspective and strength they need to make changes for the better.

Learn more about Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" at: NoBadKidsCourse.com.

Her best-selling books “No Bad Kids: Toddler Discipline without Shame” and "Elevating Child Care: A Guide to Respectful Parenting" are available in all formats at Amazon, Apple, Barnes & Noble, Google Play, and free at Audible with a trial subscription.

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