How to Stay Calm When You're Triggered—Without Letting People Walk All Over You | Lisa Bilyeu (Fan Fav)

Jun 6, 2025

This engaging conversation tackles the challenge of staying calm when feeling triggered. Learn effective scripts for responding to rude comments without losing your cool. Discover how embracing embarrassing moments can fuel personal growth instead of shame. The discussion highlights the importance of setting healthy boundaries with family while maintaining empathy. Valuable tools for managing negative emotions in the heat of the moment are shared, along with strategies for navigating confrontational situations with confidence.

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ADVICE

Use Shame to Improve Reactions

Remember and replay your most embarrassing emotional outburst to learn from it.
Use that shame constructively to create a better response script for next time.

ANECDOTE

Handling Inappropriate Neighbor

Lisa dealt with a flirtatious, married neighbor by preparing a calm, clear script for any inappropriate remarks.
She firmly communicated her boundary, staying composed and ready to escalate if disrespected.

ADVICE

Boundaries Protect Empathy

Your empathy isn't the reason you're mistreated; lack of boundaries is.
Set clear boundaries to protect yourself without losing your empathy.

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This is a Fan Fav episode. When it comes to handling triggers, setting boundaries, and staying composed when all you want to do is LOSE it, trust me—I’ve been there! In this episode, I’m answering your questions about how to respond (not react!) when people push your buttons, ways to shut down rude behavior with calm clarity, and how to set boundaries without losing your empathy or self-respect. I’m breaking it down step-by-step, sharing the exact scripts and mindset tricks I use (and practice—again and again!) so you can navigate even the toughest conversations with confidence. No sugarcoating, just honest, actionable advice from my own hot-headed, work-in-progress journey.

SHOWNOTES

How to stay calm and composed in the moment—even if you’re a self-described “hothead” (00:00:00)
Lisa’s step-by-step script for handling inappropriate or rude comments (00:02:57)
Why replaying your “cringe” moments is key to growth—not shame (00:01:09)
The real reason empathy isn’t your problem (and what is) when you’re feeling manipulated (00:08:36)
A powerful exercise for setting healthy boundaries with family (00:11:06)
How to resist getting swept up in someone else’s anger or emotional state (00:15:03)
De-escalation strategies for handling people who are seeing red—whether you know them or not (00:19:28)
Tools for catching negative emotions in the moment and choosing to respond, not react (00:33:38)
Scripts and phrases to calmly defend yourself—without guilt (00:29:11)
Why it’s all about being proud of how you show up for yourself, even if you mess up (00:31:54)

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