Optimal Relationships Daily - Dating, Marriage & Parenting

2043: [Part 1] Reclaiming Our Stories From Trauma by Jenny TeGrotenhuis with Gottman on Healing & Neuroscience

Jan 23, 2024

11:15

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Jenny TeGrotenhuis, an expert on healing and neuroscience, discusses the impact of trauma on adult relationships with examples and explores the dynamics of couples dealing with trauma. The importance of genuine connection and understanding defense mechanisms for love and connection is emphasized.

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Quick takeaways

Understanding and addressing trauma can help us reclaim our stories and reshape our relationships.

Projected expectations from past wounds can hinder genuine connection in present relationships, requiring conscious effort to navigate and overcome.

Deep dives

Reclaiming Our Stories From Trauma

The podcast episode discusses how past trauma can affect present relationships and explores the concept of reclaiming our stories from trauma. It explains that trauma can hijack the nervous system, leading to patterns of protection rather than connection. The episode emphasizes that trauma responses in adulthood are not the survivor's fault, but they are the survivor's responsibility to heal. It provides an example of Anna, whose overextending behavior stems from relational trauma in her childhood. The episode highlights the importance of identifying and navigating enduring vulnerabilities caused by past trauma.

Introduction

2min

The Impact of Trauma on Adult Relationships and Patterns of Behavior

3min

Exploring Trauma and Defensive Patterns in a Relationship

3min

Reflecting on Connecting Through Defenses in Relationships

2min

Discover all of the podcasts in our network, search for specific episodes, get the Optimal Living Daily workbook, and learn more at: OLDPodcast.com.

Episode 2043:

Gabor Maté's insights on overcoming trauma reveal a powerful message: our past scripts don't have to dictate our present responses. By understanding and addressing our trauma, we can reclaim our story and reshape our relationships, moving from a pattern of protection back to one of connection.

Read along with the original article(s) here: https://www.gottman.com/blog/reclaiming-our-stories-from-trauma/

Quotes to ponder:

"We may not be responsible for the world that created our minds, but we can take responsibility for the mind with which we create our world."

Episode references:

The Power of Now: Amazon Link

Gottman Method Couples Therapy: Gottman Institute Website

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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