What does it actually mean to “thrive” with ADHD?

Apr 24, 2025

Sarah Greenberg, a seasoned psychotherapist and vice president at Understood.org, joins the discussion on what it truly means to thrive, particularly for those with ADHD. They propose that thriving isn't just about external success but involves personal fulfillment. The SPARK model is introduced, highlighting purpose, autonomy, and meaningful relationships. Delving into happiness, they contrast surface-level joy with deep, meaningful contentment. This insightful conversation challenges societal norms, advocating for a more individualized understanding of thriving.

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INSIGHT

Thriving Is Multifaceted

Thriving is not a fixed state but a multifaceted experience involving internal feelings, external appearances, and relationships.
External thriving often mismatches internal experience, especially in neurodivergent individuals masking their challenges.

ANECDOTE

A Woman's Struggle with Thriving Pressure

A woman with ADHD felt pressured to succeed, yet was miserable and upset with herself for "failing at happiness."
This illustrates the heavy burden of unrealistic thriving expectations.

INSIGHT

SPARK Model of Thriving

Thriving encompasses self-concept, purpose, autonomy, relationships, and capacity, a model called SPARK.
Focusing on all elements creates a holistic, individualized understanding of thriving beyond just external accomplishments.

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Join health and science journalist Danielle Elliot as she investigates the rise of women recently diagnosed with ADHD. Listen to Climbing the Walls now.

“Thriving” is often held up as something to work toward in life, the gold standard for existence. If you have a learning difference or you’ve experienced mental health issues or even just went through a tough time, you’ve probably gotten some advice on what it takes to thrive.

But for me, it’s never been clear what it means to thrive. It’s an abstract concept with many definitions. As someone with ADHD, it feels like thriving can be a codeword for hiding parts of myself that aren’t exactly desirable to the rest of the world.

Yet thriving remains a constant point of discussion in mental health. It’s a conversation my colleague Sarah Greenberg and I have been having on and off for years. That’s because Sarah’s been working on a new way to understand and measure thriving, and she has a take on it I’ve never heard before.

Sarah is the vice president for expertise and strategic design at Understood.org. She’s a licensed psychotherapist and has been a leader in digital mental health for many years. She’s also really smart, thoughtful, and has a very different perspective on thriving than I do.

So we decided it would be a good idea to record one of our conversations for an episode of Hyperfocus.

Related resources

Timestamps

(2:12) Are you thriving, or are you masking?

(5:11) Internal vs. external thriving

(23:04) The deficit model and erasure

(27:35) Privilege and thriving

For a transcript of this episode and more resources, visit the episode page on Understood.org.

We’d love to hear from you. Email us at hyperfocus@understood.org.

Introducing “MissUnderstood,” the first-ever podcast channel for women with ADHD. Listen now: lnk.to/missunderstood

Understood is a nonprofit organization dedicated to empowering people with learning and thinking differences, like ADHD and dyslexia. If you want to help us continue this work, donate at understood.org/give