Either Way, Fixating on Changing Your Partner Hurts You Both

One way that childhood trauma hurts your ability to have a healthy relationship is by halting your emotional development. When your parents threaten and ignore you, you have only your child’s mind to interpret why they are doing this, and how to cope with it. Some people shut down emotionally, which obviously isn’t good for adult relationships later. And some people fixate on GETTING the love they are so hungry for. And even with a good partner they can’t really be present or FEEL the love they’re given because there’s an emptiness inside that they’re SURE their partner is causing. In this video, I respond to a letter from a woman who suspects that nothing her boyfriend does will ever feel like enough for her, and she’s questioning if the problem is her… or him.

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