Sex for Saints Episode 232 - I Don’t Care if I Ever Have Sex Again: A Conversation with Mike Frazier, MD
Sep 30, 2022
In this engaging discussion, Mike Frazier, MD, a psychiatrist and marriage coach for high-achieving Christian men, unpacks the emotional landscape of intimacy in marriage. He reveals insights into why some women say they don’t care if they ever have sex again and shares what men are truly thinking about intimacy. The conversation emphasizes the importance of emotional connection and communication in relationships, advocating for clarity in desires over seeing intimacy as an obligation. Frazier also offers practical strategies for fostering deeper bonds.
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Phrase Hides Multiple Causes
- Women often say 'I don't care if we ever have sex again' for many underlying reasons, not because sex is unimportant to them.
- Understanding whether it's low desire, bad sex, or trauma reveals the true issue to address.
Women’s Desire Is Contextual
- Female sexual desire is often responsive and built from context rather than spontaneous like male desire.
- Encouraging arousal first (stimulus → arousal → desire) aligns with how many women experience sexuality.
Warm Up Gradually Before Initiating
- When initiating, move from 'cold to warm to hot' by building emotional and physical connection progressively.
- Start with light touch, conversation, and nonsexual affection before sexual advances.
