Dr Justin Coulson's Happy Families #1215 - Help! My 8 Year Old is Totally Self Centred
Is your child struggling with empathy, social skills, or thinking beyond their own wants? In this episode, Justin and Kylie Coulson tackle a question from a concerned parent about an 8-year-old who seems self-centred, struggles with friendships, and resists considering others' feelings. They break down key strategies to foster empathy, encourage connection, and navigate discipline without frustration.
KEY POINTS:
-
Why some children seem more self-focused than others.
-
The role of personality, temperament, and developmental differences.
-
The importance of listening over excessive explaining.
-
Why "I don’t care" is often a defence mechanism.
-
How to move from reactive discipline to problem-solving.
-
The power of calm conversations outside of emotional moments.
PERSONAL STORIES SHARED:
-
Justin and Kylie reflect on their own parenting experiences, discussing how their children perceive and react to situations differently despite growing up in the same household.
-
Insights from psychology on why siblings raised in the same family can have vastly different emotional and social responses.
QUOTE OF THE EPISODE:
"High emotions equal low intelligence. When kids (and parents) are emotionally heightened, it's not the time for lessons—it's time for connection."
RESOURCES MENTIONED:
-
The Three E’s of Effective Discipline (Explore, Explain, and Empower)
-
The Happy Families website for parenting resources
ACTION STEPS FOR PARENTS:
-
Observe and Listen—Instead of immediately correcting, try to understand why your child is acting this way.
-
Create Calm Connection Moments—Have relaxed conversations over a treat to discuss social skills and feelings.
-
Encourage Small Acts of Kindness—Model and praise thoughtful behaviour rather than just pointing out what's wrong.
-
Use Open-Ended Questions—Instead of "Would you like it if someone did that to you?" Try "What do you think happened in that situation?"
-
Be patient—growth in empathy and social awareness takes time. Stay consistent and supportive.
It's easy to send us a question! Email podcasts@happyfamilies.com.au or use the super simple voice memo system at the Happy Families website.
Find us on Facebook at Dr Justin Coulson's Happy Families.
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.