At Peace Parents Podcast Ep. 40 - If I accommodate now, what will happen when they grow up?
Nov 28, 2023
Casey delves into the fears parents face when accommodating PDA behaviors, exploring the belief that such accommodations might hinder adulthood success. She highlights the shift from behaviorist views to seeing humans as intrinsically good. Additionally, she discusses how correcting behavior can exacerbate PDA responses and presents an alternative approach focusing on emotional regulation. Successful outcomes from accommodation reveal improved family connections and better mental health, paving the way for effective therapy and collaboration.
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Foundational Belief Shapes Parenting
- Casey shifted from a behaviorist view to believing humans have an innate, uncorruptible goodness beneath nervous system reactions.
- This assumption is foundational to using accommodation rather than punishment with PDA children.
PDA Is A Nervous-System Response
- PDA reactions are primarily nervous-system threat responses triggered by perceived loss of autonomy or equality.
- These responses are physiological and not under the child's conscious control, so behaviorist tactics often worsen them.
Pause Instead Of Correcting
- When a child is in survival mode, pause and avoid correcting, explaining, or punishing in the moment.
- Instead, focus on diffusing and regulating their nervous system to reduce escalation.