Dan Soder, a stand-up comedian known for The Bonfire and Billions, talks with Mark Maron about their past struggles in radio, losing loved ones, and finding solace in pro wrestling. They also explore the impact of people pleasing on their comedy careers and share personal anecdotes about family and early comedy experiences.
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Quick takeaways
Dan Soder found solace and inspiration in professional wrestling and comedy when dealing with the loss of his father and sister.
Music played a significant role in shaping Dan Soder's approach to comedy, teaching him to appreciate the depth of an artist's work.
Dan Soder's experience with his father's alcohol addiction and his aunt's tragic death influenced his decision to stay sober for the past 10 years.
Getting a hair transplant led Dan Soder to question his decision, but reframing it as comedic material helped him find humor in his own insecurities.
Deep dives
The Loss of a Father and the Influence of Wrestling and Comedy
At the age of 14, the summary focuses on the speaker's experience of losing his father and his coping mechanisms of turning to professional wrestling and comedy. Wrestling and comedy provided an escape for the speaker, helping him navigate through the difficult emotions and challenges that he faced. He found solace in watching wrestling matches and attending comedy shows, immersing himself in the art forms that brought him joy and distraction from his grief. Through wrestling and comedy, he was able to find comfort and inspiration as he embarked on his own comedic journey.
Growing Up in Colorado and the Impact of Music
The speaker, who grew up in Colorado, reflects on the influence of music on his life. He recalls his sister introducing him to various artists outside of the popular hits, teaching him to appreciate the depth of an artist's work by listening to full albums. This lesson had a profound impact on the speaker, shaping his approach to comedy as he started exploring various stand-up specials and immersing himself in the New York comedy scene. He found solace in comedy, similar to his love for music, and admired the camaraderie and ball-busting nature of comedians within the New York comedy community.
The Loss and Impact of Alcoholism in the Speaker's Family
The speaker opens up about the impact of alcoholism on his family, sharing the struggles his father faced with alcohol addiction, which ultimately led to his death. The speaker also reveals the tragic loss of his aunt, who contracted hepatitis C while caring for his father and later passed away from liver cancer. This familial experience with addiction and its devastating consequences has shaped the speaker's perspective and approach to substance use, contributing to his decision to stay sober for the past 10 years.
The Anger and Regret Surrounding the Speaker's Hair Transplant
The speaker discusses his experience with getting a hair transplant, sharing his initial excitement and subsequent regret. After undergoing the surgery, he felt a wave of doubt and questioned his decision. However, his partner reminded him that he can use this experience as material for his comedy, which helped him reframe his perspective and find comedy in his own insecurities. The speaker acknowledges the vulnerability of sharing such personal moments on stage but recognizes the value in connecting with an audience through genuine and relatable experiences.
Growing up and finding purpose
Dan Soder reflects on his difficult upbringing and the challenges he faced as a teenager. He discusses the importance of finding role models and father figures, as well as the impact of the loss of his sister at a young age. Despite the pain and anger, he ultimately discovers a sense of purpose and resilience, recognizing that he must make his life what he wants it to be.
Finding comedy and radio
Soder delves into his journey into comedy and radio. He shares how he began performing stand-up comedy while working at a college radio station. He also describes his experiences working in the radio industry, from being fired to finding a renewed passion for broadcasting. Soder highlights the importance of persistence and following one's passion, even in the face of setbacks and uncertainties.
The power of friendship and support
Soder discusses the significant role that friends and mentors played in his life. He emphasizes the impact of having supportive individuals like Dave Ashley and John Kimowitz, who believed in his comedic talent and provided guidance. Soder also shares how his collaboration with Big Jay Oakerson on their podcast, The Bonfire, and his experience on the show Billions further solidified the importance of friendship and meaningful connections in his journey.
Nearly fifteen years ago, Dan Soder and Marc were talking at a comedy club right after they were both fired from their respective radio gigs. Marc responded to that moment by launching this podcast while Dan committed himself to standup, which led back to radio with his show The Bonfire and to acting gigs on shows like Billions. Dan also tells Marc how his early life hardened him to adversity, losing his father and sister to tragic circumstances, and how he learned how to explain most of life thanks to pro wrestling.
