“Men, I Believe You, I Believe In You” — Traver Boehm on Masculinity, Grief, and the Power of the Dark

In this profound and powerfully honest episode, Andrew is joined by Traver Boehm—author, speaker, and founder of the Uncivilized Men’s Movement. This raw and revealing conversation dives deep into the emotional and spiritual reality of being a man in today’s world.

Traver shares the personal story behind his movement, how heartbreak and disillusionment cracked him open, and why he’s devoted his life to helping men reclaim both their primal power and emotional truth. Together, Andrew and Traver explore men’s sensitivity, the cultural disbelief in men’s inner lives, and the loneliness and pain so many carry silently.

Traver also opens up about his experiences with darkness retreats—radical, solitary immersions into absolute darkness—and how they’ve initiated him into deeper self-understanding, ego death, and trust in his own soul’s call. He offers a powerful challenge to men: Dare to feel. Dare to be fully human.

This episode is a must-listen for any man who’s ever felt alone in his pain… and for anyone who’s ready to meet the courage that lives inside vulnerability.

⸻

What You’ll Learn in This Episode: 

 • How Traver turned heartbreak into a mission to support men

 • Why emotional sensitivity is a masculine strength, not a weakness

 • The hidden epidemic of male emotional isolation—and how to break it

 • Why the phrase “I’ve never said this out loud before” changes everything

 • How to balance emotional expression with purpose, structure, and spine

 • The truth about numbness, avoidance, and the cost of living half-alive

 • What it’s like to spend 28 (and soon 49) days in total darkness—and what that journey reveals

 • Why Traver believes something must break for a man to be reborn

 • How to cultivate a human experience that’s raw, real, and relational

 • Two sentences every man needs to hear: “I believe you. I believe in you.”

⸻

Links & Resources: 

 • https://www.instagram.com/traverboehm

 • The Uncivilized Nation

 • Preorder Traver’s New Book: 28 Days in Darkness 

 • Listen to Traver’s Podcast: The Uncivilized Podcast 

~~~

Becoming a Dominant Man is Andrew's flagship course for Dominant Men. Becoming a Dominant Man leads men through a 12 step process, the 12 Steps to Dominance, to claim full ownership of their lives and their inner strength, so that they can carry a loving strength, true Dominance, into their lives and relationships. Becoming a Dominant Man is a pre-recorded course that men can work through on their own time, but also includes live weekly instruction and Q&A with Andrew at no extra cost. Learn more about Becoming a Dominant Man at https://infinitedevotion.com/becoming-a-dominant-man

Rules, Rituals, and Contracts for a loving D/s Dynamic. Check out Structuring Your DS Dynamic, our course that walks you through the process of setting up your D/s dynamic for success, using the same process that Andrew uses. No more basic templates, or trying to squeeze your real life into someone else’s contract. This course walks you, step by step, through deep conversations, then helps you to establish rules, rituals, tasks, and eventually a full contract, that is fully YOURS and built to evolve with you over time. Learn more at https://infinitedevotion.com/structuring-your-ds-dynamic

Our newest course for submissive women is available NOW. Submissive Foundations teaches women how to embody submission from a healthy emotional inner strength, with your self respect fully intact. Click the link to learn more! https://infinitedevotion.com/submissive-foundations

Social Links:

Instagram: https://instagram.com/_infinitedevotion

YouTube: https://instagram.com/@infinitedevotion

Facebook: https://facebook.com/domsubdevotion

Coaching: You can learn more about working with us in 1-1 coaching and our various workshops, courses, and programs at https://infinitedevotion.com/store

Free Resources: 

FREE: The 12 Steps to Dominance: A free ebook showing men how to embody a healthy, loving Dominance. Download here: https://www.infinitedevotion.com/12-steps-to-dominance

FREE: Inspiring Her Submission Masterclass: A deep dive on how to inspire any woman to submit and surrender to you. Watch here: https://infinitedevotion.com/dominance-masterclass

FREE: Devotional Dominance & Submission: A free ebook showing you how D/s dynamics and loving long term relationships work hand in hand. https://infinitedevotion.com/devotional-ds

FREE: Get Dawn's Manifesto: The Self Respecting Submissive Woman. Click here to download it now! https://www.infinitedevotion.com/self-respecting-submissive-woman

00:00 Introduction to Dom Sub Devotion

00:33 Guest Introduction: Traver Boehm

01:21 Traver's Journey: From Divorce to Men's Movement

03:49 The Impact of Traver's Work

08:12 The Sensitivity and Strength of Men

13:59 Challenges Men Face in Society

19:26 Emotional Intelligence and Relationships

23:20 The Importance of Emotional Expression

32:51 Exploring Emotional Tools

33:58 Balancing Primal and Divine Energies

34:26 The Importance of Mission and Purpose

35:00 Using Emotions as Fuel

36:10 Integrating Both Sides of Masculinity

43:21 The Power of Darkness Retreats

52:10 Facing the Unknown in Extended Darkness

01:02:31 Final Thoughts and Advice for Men