Dom Sub Devotion “Men, I Believe You, I Believe In You” — Traver Boehm on Masculinity, Grief, and the Power of the Dark
In this profound and powerfully honest episode, Andrew is joined by Traver Boehm—author, speaker, and founder of the Uncivilized Men’s Movement. This raw and revealing conversation dives deep into the emotional and spiritual reality of being a man in today’s world.
Traver shares the personal story behind his movement, how heartbreak and disillusionment cracked him open, and why he’s devoted his life to helping men reclaim both their primal power and emotional truth. Together, Andrew and Traver explore men’s sensitivity, the cultural disbelief in men’s inner lives, and the loneliness and pain so many carry silently.
Traver also opens up about his experiences with darkness retreats—radical, solitary immersions into absolute darkness—and how they’ve initiated him into deeper self-understanding, ego death, and trust in his own soul’s call. He offers a powerful challenge to men: Dare to feel. Dare to be fully human.
This episode is a must-listen for any man who’s ever felt alone in his pain… and for anyone who’s ready to meet the courage that lives inside vulnerability.
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What You’ll Learn in This Episode:
• How Traver turned heartbreak into a mission to support men
• Why emotional sensitivity is a masculine strength, not a weakness
• The hidden epidemic of male emotional isolation—and how to break it
• Why the phrase “I’ve never said this out loud before” changes everything
• How to balance emotional expression with purpose, structure, and spine
• The truth about numbness, avoidance, and the cost of living half-alive
• What it’s like to spend 28 (and soon 49) days in total darkness—and what that journey reveals
• Why Traver believes something must break for a man to be reborn
• How to cultivate a human experience that’s raw, real, and relational
• Two sentences every man needs to hear: “I believe you. I believe in you.”
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Links & Resources:
• https://www.instagram.com/traverboehm
• Preorder Traver’s New Book: 28 Days in Darkness
• Listen to Traver’s Podcast: The Uncivilized Podcast
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00:00 Introduction to Dom Sub Devotion
00:33 Guest Introduction: Traver Boehm
01:21 Traver's Journey: From Divorce to Men's Movement
03:49 The Impact of Traver's Work
08:12 The Sensitivity and Strength of Men
13:59 Challenges Men Face in Society
19:26 Emotional Intelligence and Relationships
23:20 The Importance of Emotional Expression
32:51 Exploring Emotional Tools
33:58 Balancing Primal and Divine Energies
34:26 The Importance of Mission and Purpose
35:00 Using Emotions as Fuel
36:10 Integrating Both Sides of Masculinity
43:21 The Power of Darkness Retreats
52:10 Facing the Unknown in Extended Darkness
01:02:31 Final Thoughts and Advice for Men