Multiamory: Rethinking Modern Relationships

501 - Are you having sex or is sex having you? A conversation with Dan Savage

Oct 15, 2024

Dan Savage, a renowned sex advice columnist and founder of the It Gets Better Project, joins the conversation to explore the evolving landscape of relationships. He discusses the balance between desire and control in sexuality and advocates for embracing non-monogamy as a valid relationship model. With humor, he examines societal shifts in perceptions of love, infidelity, and commitment, and critiques current sex education's impact on modern dating. Savage's candid insights challenge traditional norms and highlight the importance of honest communication.

01:21:30

Episode guests

Dan Savage

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Episode notes

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Quick takeaways

Sex can control our lives despite our perceived autonomy, emphasizing the need to channel sexual energy positively through enriching connections.

The acceptance of non-monogamy has evolved, particularly within gay communities, and is increasingly reflected in the broader cultural conversation around relationships.

Reframing infidelity as an opportunity for learning fosters resilience within partnerships, allowing deeper emotional connections while exploring outside relationships.

Deep dives

The Complexity of Sexuality

Sex is a fundamental aspect of human existence, with a history that spans millions of years, and its influence permeates our lives deeply. Many people feel that they are in control of their sexual choices, but it can often feel like sex has its own hold over individuals, dictating their actions and desires. To navigate this complexity, finding ways to channel sexual energy positively becomes crucial. This often involves exploring short-term relationships that enrich life experiences while creating connections and varying levels of intimacy.

Intro

2min

Redefining Relationships: From Monogamy to Polyamory

23min

Stability in Love: Monogamy vs Non-Monogamy

4min

Navigating Relationship Dynamics

21min

Navigating Sexual Connections in the Modern Age

6min

Navigating Modern Dating Dynamics

24min

Exploring Egalitarian Relationships and Community Engagement

2min

Dan Savage joins us today to talk about love, sex, non-monogamy, commitment, and much, much more!

Dan Savage is a sex-advice columnist, a podcaster, an author, and has appeared on numerous television shows.

“Savage Love,” Dan’s sex-advice column, first appeared in The Stranger, Seattle’s alternative weekly, in 1991. The column is now syndicated worldwide. Dan has published seven books.

In 2006, Dan launched the Savage Lovecast, a weekly, call-in, sex advice podcast. It has 600,000 unique monthly downloads and 20,000 paying subscribers for premium “Magnum” content. It ranks consistently in the top ten Sexuality podcasts on Apple Podcasts.

He created and curates the HUMP! Film Festival, a sex-positive showcase of dirty short films, now in its 18th year. HUMP! has become a national phenomenon selling tens of thousands of tickets, screening in over 50 cities across the United States and Canada and streaming worldwide.

In 2010 Dan and his husband Terry Miller founded the It Gets Better Project. The IGBP has gathered tens of thousands of videos from people all over the world offering hope to LGBT kids. The book—It Gets Better: Coming Out, Overcoming Bullying, and Creating a Life Worth Living—was a New York Times best seller. In 2012 the It Gets Better Project was awarded an Emmy.

Dan’s graphic, pragmatic, and humorous advice has changed the cultural conversation about sex, monogamy, gay rights, religiosity, and politics.

Join our amazing community of listeners at multiamory.supercast.com. We offer sliding scale subscriptions so everyone can also get access to ad-free episodes, group video discussions, and our amazing Discord community.

This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/multi and get 10% off your first month.

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Multiamory was created by Dedeker Winston, Jase Lindgren, and Emily Matlack.
Our theme music is Forms I Know I Did by Josh and Anand.
Follow us on Instagram @Multiamory_Podcast and visit our website Multiamory.com.

We are a proud member of the Pleasure Podcasts network.

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