ERP 344: How Our Language Can Steer & Shape Our Relationships — An Interview With Dr. Georgi Gardiner

Have you ever been in a situation where you just can’t find the words to express how you are feeling, and then all of a sudden you come across a word that perfectly captures how you feel? Isn't it empowering to finally have a name for that feeling or experience so you can share it with others?

Language is an incredibly effective tool for communication and expression. It not only helps you understand who you are, but it also alters the way you see the world. There are simply not enough words to adequately describe the various kinds of emotions and relationships that people are capable of experiencing, which is why communities, such as the LGBTQ and polyamory, are developing new vocabulary.

In this episode, Dr. Georgi Gardiner discusses some new vocabulary words that she covers in her essay, We Forge the Conditions of Love, in an effort to raise awareness. In the aforementioned essay, the author discusses how people's conceptions of love impact their romantic relationships and offers suggestions for how to direct and mold them.

Dr. Georgi Gardiner is an Assistant Professor of Philosophy and a fellow of the American Council for Learned Societies (ACLS). She previously held the Andrew Fraser Junior Research Fellowship at St. John’s College, Oxford University. Georgi received her doctorate from Rutgers University and Undergraduate and Masters degrees from Edinburgh University. Her research interests include the philosophy of love, sexuality, and sex work. She also researches beliefs about trauma and rape.

Check out the transcript of this episode on Dr. Jessica Higgin's website.

In this episode

6:22 What is linguistic luck and how can it affect your romantic relationship?

8:17 Love has a very permissive flexibility of meaning. 

13:27 An example of social forging: holiday romance or a summer fling.

18:51 How can trying on various interpretive frames of oneself be an empowering cognitive skill? 

23:15 How to switch between being disempowered and being empowered.

27:12 What influences societal constructs, and how are communities broadening the vocabulary they use to describe their relationships?

30:42 What is limerence, and how might it influence how people perceive love and romantic relationships?

34:22 Are you really experiencing falling in love or is it just limerence? 

44:21 How can people utilize this knowledge more in their daily lives? 

47:42 Find out more about Dr. Georgi Gardiner and her work.

Mentioned

We Forge the Conditions of Love (essay)

Living with Limerence (book)

ERP 286: How to Know if You Experience Limerence & What to Do About It – An Interview With Dr. L

Shifting Criticism For Connected Communication

Connect with Dr. Georgi Gardiner

Website: georgigardiner.com

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