Life Coaching with Christine Hassler EP 398: Can You Heal Your Past Without Feeling It or Reliving It? With Suzy
This episode is about healing past trauma without reliving it. Today’s caller, Suzy, knows there is trauma in her past but fears she must relive it to heal it. This conversation is helpful if you know there are things in your past you haven’t dealt with and don’t know where to start or have fears about addressing them.
[For show notes, go here: Christinehassler.com/episode398]
When we experience trauma, we disassociate. We have to do it. It doesn’t make us weak. It doesn’t make us not vulnerable. And, it doesn’t make us not emotionally intelligent. It is what we do to survive. We need to have compassion for our disassociation because it is a coping strategy and it’s the only way we can survive trauma.
There comes a time when all the dissociation starts to add up, and it may make us feel dead inside. It is important that we do not go back and relive our trauma. We can use current-day triggers to ask — What is this triggering inside me? What is this reminding me of? Then, give ourselves the permission to feel and express all the feelings we didn’t get to express, state our needs, and make our requests. That is how we heal. That’s how we repair not by reliving the trauma.
Riding a current trigger or feeling back in time to see where we end up is one of the most useful ways to heal. It’s about giving ourselves a voice, giving ourselves the freedom to express ourselves, giving ourselves compassion, and nurturing ourselves to meet the needs that didn’t get met at that time. It’s not about reliving our experiences.
My upcoming Signature Retreat is for women who want to go deeper into their consciousness, release layers that need to go, expand their femininity, get clear about their purpose, and heal wounds. It is October 13‒15 in San Diego, CA. To sign up go to ChristineHassler.com/signatureretreat.
Consider/Ask Yourself:
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Do you have trouble accessing feelings from your past? You can talk about your past but there’s no emotion there.
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Are you finding you do have emotion in your current day situations and you don’t quite know what to do with those triggers?
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Were you emotionally abandoned by your parents? Maybe they were physically there but they didn’t really meet your emotional needs.
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Do you have trouble accessing your inner child?
Suzy’s Question:
Suzy knows there are things in her past she has not dealt with but she doesn’t know where to start or how to address them.
Suzy’s Key Insights and Ahas:
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She is seeing a therapist.
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Her past is affecting her current relationships.
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She feels abandoned by her husband.
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She feels sad and lonely.
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She fears reliving her past trauma.
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As a child, her physical needs were met but not her emotional needs.
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She has tried to share her feelings with her mother.
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She feels hopeless.
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She has never felt safe.
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She is surprised by the wise words from her inner child.
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She is capable of holding herself through her feelings.
How to Get Over It and On With It:
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Commit to continue to talk with her inner child.
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Recognize her triggers as an opportunity to check in with her inner child.
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Write or send herself a message starting with “I learned…, I feel…, what I am going to do moving forward is…”.
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Get pictures of herself from different ages and see which she connects more deeply with.
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Be gentle with herself as she maneuvers the healing process.
Takeaways:
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If you are afraid to deal with your past, find a qualified practitioner.
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Check in with your inner child whenever you feel triggered.
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Come to the Signature Retreat in October.
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Listen to the previously recorded 3-day Inner Child Workshop.
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Be gentle and patient with yourself.
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Resources:
Christine Hassler — Join the Free Over It and On With It Community
Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner
Expectation Hangover, by Christine Hassler
@ChristineHassler on Instagram
@SacredUnionCouples on Instagram
Jill@ChristineHassler.com — For information on any of my services
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