The Secret To A Strong Marriage No One Talks About | Kerry Washington
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Oct 11, 2025
Kerry Washington reveals the secrets to a lasting marriage, emphasizing that it's not about perfection but commitment through challenges. She learned from her parents that every relationship has its ups and downs. Kerry discusses how she and her husband view their marriage as a 'third entity,' requiring ongoing investment. She highlights the importance of proactive therapy as a form of relationship maintenance, showing that love can thrive in the busiest of lives when nurtured consistently.
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question_answer ANECDOTE
Childhood Lesson On Marriage Longevity
Kerry Washington recalls arguing her parents should break up when she was 16 and her mother corrected her perspective.
Her mother taught her that a child's view is a fraction of a long marriage and includes ups and downs.
insights INSIGHT
Marriage Is A Long Journey
Kerry Washington frames marriage as a journey with highs and lows that require long-term commitment.
She says commitment must be rooted in something deeper than ego, like real love.
volunteer_activism ADVICE
Make Therapy Routine Care
Kerry Washington recommends therapy as a routine practice, not a crisis fix, to care for a relationship.
She compares couples therapy to going to the gym or dentist to maintain what matters to you.
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"We spend a lot of time in therapy consciously talking about what we're doing well and acknowledging that for each other—it's really important to not take for granted that there are good things to celebrate." - Kerry Washington
Kerry Washington opens up about what most people get wrong about lasting relationships. Growing up watching her parents navigate rough patches, she learned early that marriage isn't about perfection—it's about commitment through the messy, uncertain middle. When she was 16, frustrated watching her parents struggle, her mom told her something that changed everything: "Your 16 years are a fraction of our marriage. We've had good times and bad times. Your little window into this is not the full story." That wisdom shaped how Kerry approaches her own marriage today, especially while juggling demanding film schedules and raising kids. She reveals how she and her husband don't wait for crisis to do the work—they treat their relationship like going to the gym, showing up consistently to strengthen what matters most.
What makes this conversation so powerful is Kerry's honesty about separating ego from love when both partners are evolving in high-stakes careers. She shares how they transformed their marriage by viewing it as a "third entity"—not just give-and-take between two people, but something sacred they both pour into. Instead of keeping score of who sacrificed what, they invest in a shared emotional bank account that sustains them through separation, exhaustion, and the chaos of modern life. Her approach to therapy isn't about fixing what's broken; it's about actively celebrating what's working, acknowledging each other's efforts, and creating space to grow together rather than apart.
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