Escaping the Lure of Attention and Approval with Kathleen Smith

It’s SO SO EASY for creatives to get caught up in chasing after praise and approval to boost their own mood and productivity. How can we spend less energy "borrowing self" from other people's reactions, and more energy pursuing what's important to us? KJ asks Kathleen Smith, author of True to You: A Therapist's Guide to Stop Pleasing Others and Start Being Yourself, to help us find our true writer-selves at all the moments when all the other opinions and demands and pseudo-beliefs beckon. The goal? Hanging up a mental sign that says “currently closed to imaginary commentary.”

Kathleen Smith PhD, LPC is an author, licensed therapist, and expert on relationship systems with degrees from Harvard University and The George Washington University. She is the author of Everything Isn’t Terrible: Conquer Your Insecurities, Interrupt Your Anxiety, and Finally Calm Down, a funny, practical guide that breaks down psychotherapy concepts into accessible stories of change and True to You: A Therapist’s Guide to Stop Pleasing Others and Starting Being Yourself.

She also writes a weekly therapy newsletter, The Anxious Overachiever, —and clearly we all need THAT.

#AmReading

Kathleen: Wild Rituals, Caitlin O'Connell

KJ: The Creative Pragmatist, Amy Smilovic (largely unobtainable, so check out her Substack here.)

Find Kathleen via her website, Facebook, or Instagram

Are you a “sticker”?

Regular listeners know that whenever we meet our writing goals around here, we text each other one word: STICKER. (and then we add a cute sticker to our calendar, because we’re fun like that).

We call supporters of the #AmWriting podcast “stickers” too—and while our regular podcasts and shownotes go out to all of our listeners, we have created a few things just for stickers. First, there’s the Summer Blueprint for a Book Sprint—10 weeks dedicated to working with coaches and a community to figure out how to turn your next idea—or your struggling draft—into the book you want to write. You can join it anytime (the how-to is below).

Stickers can also submit the first page of their WIP to the Booklab First Pages podcast, where we might choose it to discuss, review and offer ideas for persuading agents, editors and readers that they want to turn that page and see what happens next. (Find the link to submit a first page HERE.)

I’m a sticker! Give it all to me now.

To join the Blueprint for a Book Summer Sprint, you must be a paid subscriber. Then, opt-in and set up your podcast feed. Don’t worry, it’s simple! Click here to go to your #AmWriting account, and when you see this screen, do two things:

* Toggle “Blueprint for a Book” from “off” (grey) to “on” (green).

* Click “set up podcast” next to Blueprint for a Book and follow the easy instructions.

Once you set those things up, you’ll get all the future Blueprint emails and podcasts (and if you’re joining the party a bit late, just head to our website and click on Blueprint for a Book in the top menu).

This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit amwriting.substack.com/subscribe