SPFPP Episode 175: Shift the Shame

Here's what we've touched on this episode: 20 Years old and diagnosed over a year with genital HSV at the start of the Pandemmy Found out this guy intentionally gave her and 3 other women HSV to claim them These ladies ganged up and pushed Emily OUT of the group so they could keep their man all to themselves They told her he has herpes and they encouraged her to go get tested and leave They said he does this to everyone new that he starts to like and hooks up with When she confronted the guy, he said “I know” and blocked her, yet showed up for work still Him not caring is what made her feel broken as that was the one person she’s trusted with her body and he broke it, making her feel disgusting This was her first partner so she knew it came from him Felt shocked and confused because this was also a coworker He didn’t care when they spoke and he knew what he’d done. Became severely depressed and saw a therapist This was her lowest point in her life Her friends picked her back up and helped her When girls say “He’s my best friend” Falling in love with someone who doesn’t reciprocate Is it my fault for “catching feelings” Red flags are love-bombing and faux connection and red flags start Who they are with me vs who they are with NOT me Ex girlfriend in the picture being “crazy” as a warning Average D game blinding from red flags DUDE IS A SOUNDCLOUD RAPPER What keeps us from retaliating to shitty people? No regard to consequences, nothing to lose, so fuck it. Shift the shame from stigma to shitty actions (Episode Title) From victim blaming to perpetrator shame Abuser threats to your threatening to out them for abuse Abusers have no shame (why is the fear greater of your consent violations carry more weight than abuse. The abuser shouldn’t be able to hurt you more after help is sought or action taken The three girls prioritizing him benefiting from this representative of upholding white supremacy He wrote a diss track about her and called her a homie hopper. Had incentive for a fresh start through reaching out to her sister for support to get that When disclosing your status, it’s all about the person Recognizing happiness for the first time after not seeing it for so long We all want matched energy I wanted him to be who he was WE TEACH PEOPLE HOW TO TREAT US If you want pizza instead of tacos, get pizza, don’t eat tacos.