Lisa Gates – Someone’s Burdens Shouldn’t Be Yours

Dec 25, 2022

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BIO: Lisa Gates is a leadership coach and career story sleuth who helps women strategically self-advocate so they are seen, heard, valued, and paid.

STORY: Lisa’s husband got a 65 Mustang as payment for an $800 debt. They spent over $14,000 to repair the car and sold it for just $7,000.

LEARNING: Don’t invest in something you don’t naturally value or have an interest in. Don’t let other people’s problems be yours.

“It’s never about the other person, even when it is.”

Lisa Gates

Guest profile

Lisa Gates is a leadership coach and career story sleuth who helps women strategically self-advocate so they are seen, heard, valued, and paid.

By building core narratives for every career context, from interviewing to networking to promotion, Lisa helps women capture the stories that demonstrate impact in action to break through the barriers of invisibility and exclusion.

With a career that spans from marketing and public relations to writing and acting, Lisa has become an expert at interviewing, pitching, negotiating, and storytelling.

Previously, she co-founded She Negotiates, an internationally recognized consulting and training firm, where she helped hundreds of women close their wage and leadership gaps. Her work has appeared on NPR, CNN, The New York Times, The Wall Street Journal, The Atlantic, Glamour, and elsewhere.

Worst investment ever

Someone owed Lisa’s husband about $800, which was a lot of money back then. One day her husband came home and said he’d got paid. Well, not in cash. The person had given Lisa’s husband a 65 Mustang. The car was a collector’s dream, but it needed an engine, a paint job, a Fender, a headliner, carpeting, and new upholstery.

Lisa’s husband believed he could sell the car for $20,000. Lisa was livid because they needed the money owed, and the only way they could make any money from selling the car was if they made all the repairs necessary.

Lisa’s father-in-law died and left a small inheritance of about $17,000. They spent about $14,000 from the inheritance to repair the car. It was beautiful by the end of the repairs. Just after picking up the car, the couple was driving home when Lisa ran into the back of another vehicle and crunched the front end. Now they had to do some more repairs and spend more money. They finally sold that car for $7,000.

Lessons learned

If it isn’t something you naturally value or are interested in, don’t invest in it.
Whatever you invest in has to fit your priorities and what you’re up to in your life.

Andrew’s takeaways

Ask yourself, knowing what you know about this person right now, if you weren’t in this relationship and this person walked up to you and wanted to start this relationship, would you start it? If the answer is no, then you’ve got some decisions to make. If the answer is yes, double down and bring more value to that relationship.
When somebody’s having a problem or dealing with their burden, that burden or problem doesn’t have to be yours, and you don’t have to accept it.

Actionable advice

Grow your emotional intelligence by learning to ask questions before responding or saying yes.

Lisa’s recommendations

Lisa recommends her various LinkedIn courses for conflict resolution and negotiation:

No.1 goal for the next 12 months

Lisa’s number one goal for the next 12 months is to lose 25 pounds.

Parting words

“I just have a big thank you. You have a great heart and a great expertise.”

Lisa Gates – Someone’s Burdens Shouldn’t Be Yours

Guest profile

Worst investment ever

Lessons learned

Andrew’s takeaways

Actionable advice

Lisa’s recommendations

No.1 goal for the next 12 months

Parting words

Connect with Lisa Gates

Andrew’s books

Andrew’s online programs

Connect with Andrew Stotz: