Love, Happiness and Success with Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby

#454 Should You Stay or Go? How To Know When Your Marriage Is Over

May 19, 2025

Navigating the emotional turmoil of a struggling marriage can be daunting. Discover the subtle signs that may indicate it's time to reassess your relationship. Explore the difference between rough patches and dead ends, and understand why traditional couples counseling may not always work. Learn about discernment coaching as a new approach to find clarity. With practical advice and free resources, this discussion empowers you to take the next right step—whether that means healing or moving on.

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INSIGHT

Gray Zone in Troubled Marriages

Most marriages in crisis don't end abruptly with dramatic events but decline in quiet, confusing ways.
This 'gray zone' makes it hard to decide if the relationship is truly over or salvageable.

INSIGHT

Specialized Couples Therapy Matters

Many therapists offering couples counseling lack specialized training in relationship repair.
Evidence-based therapy methods like Emotionally Focused Therapy or the Gottman Method are often needed for real change.

ADVICE

Clarify Problems and Efforts

List all relationship issues clearly and what you've tried to fix them; detailed clarity is critical.
Don't assume it's hopeless unless you've actively engaged your partner in honest repair efforts.

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There are few questions more terrifying, more soul-shaking, or more likely to keep you awake at 3 a.m. than this one: How to know when your marriage is over? I mean… whew. Just saying that out loud makes my stomach flip.

As a licensed marriage and family therapist, I’ve walked this path with many people, and in this episode of the Love, Happiness & Success podcast, I’ll help you walk through it too—with clarity, compassion, and courage.

Today we’re unpacking the hidden signs, hard truths, and hopeful possibilities around one of life’s biggest crossroads. We’ll talk about the difference between a rough patch and a dead end, what to do if your partner won’t engage, and how to get the real support you need to move forward confidently—whether that means healing your relationship or letting it go.

Timestamps:

00:00 – Is It Over? The Emotional Toll of Not Knowing 02:47 – When Your Relationship Lives in the Gray Zone 10:40 – Why "Couples Counseling" Often Doesn’t Work—and What Does 31:02 – What Is Discernment Coaching, and How Can It Help? 49:41 – Free Resources + Your Next Right Step

I’ve put together a free resource that might help you take the next step: my How Healthy Is Your Relationship? Quiz. It’s a quick and insightful tool that can help you see where things are strong, where they’re struggling, and what might be possible. You’ll also get a custom report with suggestions you can actually use. You can find the quiz right here on my website.

If you're ready to talk to someone about your relationship — whether you're hoping to repair it or just looking for clarity — my team and I are here. You can book a free consultation call and we’ll help you find the right next step, whether that’s discernment coaching, relationship therapy, or support just for you.

And hey — I’d love to stay connected. You can find me on Instagram and YouTube where I’m always sharing tips, tools, and a little bit of love to help you create the life and relationships you deserve.

Xoxo

Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby

www.growingself.com

P.S. Know someone who’s going through this exact same thing? Maybe they’re stuck in the gray zone too, or quietly suffering through something they haven’t told anyone about. Please send this their way. You never know — sharing this episode might be the first step toward their healing.