Explore the incredible art of being fully present in parenting, reflecting on how some individuals effortlessly engage with children. This discussion emphasizes that nurturing presence and focus isn’t innate; it requires effort and intentionality. By committing to be all-in, just like we do in our careers, the transformative power of active participation in our children's lives is revealed. Simple activities like playing LEGOs or disconnecting from devices can spark meaningful connections. Trying is the first step to mastering this essential skill.
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Effortful Parenting
Being present and patient with kids takes effort and practice, like building a muscle.
Start small, dedicate uninterrupted time, and put in the work.
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Practical Tips
Try leaving your phone in the car to avoid distractions.
Dedicate specific times for focused play, like an hour of Legos.
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Have you ever watched someone sit and play with a little kid for hours? Like totally engrossed, never checking a phone, never rushing, never getting bored or frustrated, never pulling the adult card? Maybe your spouse can do this, maybe you’ve seen a grandparent do it, maybe you’ve pulled up and watched the teachers at a daycare do it (or maybe you’ve watched them calmly, quietly put 10 kids down for a nap at the same time).
When you see this sort of effortless presence and patience, it’s humbling. It’s an incredible feat of human endurance and focus; one that doesn’t seem to come naturally to all of us. And that’s the point: It doesn’t come naturally. Like all other feats of endurance and skill, it takes work. You build the muscle before you can use it to move mountains...or put a dozen toddlers to bed.
But here’s the real question: Are you actually putting in enough of that kind of effort? Or are you just throwing up your hands and saying, “That’s not me. I can’t do it.” You would not be alone. But you would also not be more wrong.
Try. Start small and try.
Leave your phone in the car when you come home. Play LEGOs for the next hour, with no interruptions. Write the rest of the afternoon off. Put as much work into this parenting thing as you do with your work. Try to be all-in, just for a bit.
The Daily Dad