Multiamory: Rethinking Modern Relationships

504 - Decolonizing Love with Millie and Nick

Nov 5, 2024

Millie Boella, a polyamorous relationship expert from Toronto, co-founded Decolonizing Love to advocate for intersectional love. Joined by her partner Nick, they discuss how colonialism shapes modern relationships and the importance of embracing diverse identities in polyamory. They challenge traditional norms, explore the complexities of relationship hierarchies, and emphasize the need for transparency and authenticity. Their insights highlight the significance of representation and accessibility in non-monogamous communities.

58:02

Episode guests

Millie Boella

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Episode notes

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Quick takeaways

Millie and Nick emphasize the significance of decolonizing love by dismantling oppressive hierarchies in relationship structures and valuing all forms equally.

Their exploration of Indigenous cultures reveals flexible relationship models that encourage individual identity exploration and community communication, moving beyond rigid norms.

Nick's transition to polyamory highlights the importance of personal motivation and education in navigating emotional challenges associated with non-monogamous practices.

Deep dives

Embracing Indigenous Perspectives

Indigenous cultures emphasize living for the joy of life rather than adhering to capitalist productivity. The discussion highlights the Kikuyu tribe's diverse options for relationship structures, including self-marriage and varying forms of polygamy. This cultural flexibility encourages individuals to explore their identities and communicate their experiences back to the community. The focus shifts from rigid categorizations to embracing fluidity, where personal exploration and curiosity are celebrated.

Intro

2min

Decolonizing Love: Non-Monogamy and Cultural Perspectives

11min

Decolonizing Love: Unraveling Norms

11min

Navigating Discomfort: Hierarchies and Non-Monogamy

6min

Navigating Hierarchical Polyamory

15min

Challenging Identity: The Flexibility of Labels

2min

Redefining Relationships and Identity

6min

Embracing Diversity in Polyamory

7min

For today's episode, we're joined by Millie and Nick from Decolonizing Love for a spectacular conversation about polyamory, intersectionality, colonialism, hierarchy, and much, much more.

Millie Boella (she/they) and Nick (he/him) are a polyamorous couple from Toronto, Canada, who have been together for 14 years. Millie, of mixed Kenyan and diverse heritage, has always embraced polyamory, influenced by her Maasai background. She founded the Toronto Non-Monogamous BIPOC group in 2017 and is a professional writer. Nick, of Italian and Greek descent, is a healthcare consultant. He works on various community causes, including projects that help men unlearn toxic masculinity. In 2021, they co-founded Decolonizing Love, advocating for polyamory through a decolonial lens. Their work aims to make polyamory accessible and intersectional.

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Multiamory was created by Dedeker Winston, Jase Lindgren, and Emily Matlack.
Our theme music is Forms I Know I Did by Josh and Anand.
Follow us on Instagram @Multiamory_Podcast and visit our website Multiamory.com.

We are a proud member of the Pleasure Podcasts network.

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