From Crisis to Connection - with Geoff & Jody Steurer Why You're Not Healing at the Same Speed
One of the most common fears couples face after betrayal is the feeling of being out of sync. One partner seems to be moving faster. The other feels stuck or confused. One wants to talk. The other wants space. And both start wondering, Why aren’t we healing the same? What does this say about our relationship?
In this episode of From Crisis to Connection, Geoff and Jody unpack why couples never heal at the same pace and why that’s not necessarily a sign of failure. It’s a sign that each person is doing different work with different starting points, needs, wounds, and responsibilities.
In this episode, you’ll learn:
For the Betrayed Partner- Why you often feel “behind” early on, and why that feeling is actually a trauma response
- How being kept in the dark creates an enormous informational gap
- Why your slower pace is actually your body protecting you
- Living with integrity means you’re often ahead in emotional maturity and stability
- Why the early “relief” of truth-telling can create the illusion of being further along
- How early recovery often becomes performative, focused on checklists and behaviors
- Why deeper work begins after the secrets end
- How shame, discomfort, and old coping patterns can pull you back into control or quick fixes
- Why comparing timelines always leads to shame, pressure, or resentment
- How to stay connected even when your healing paces look completely different
- Why “doing your own work” creates more safety than trying to match each other’s progress
- What it really means to share a healing path without forcing your partner into your pace
______________________________
Download the Free Resource: You, Me, Us - A Way Forward After Betrayal
When betrayal has shaken your relationship, it can feel impossible to know where to begin. This free 15-minute video and companion worksheet will help you steady yourself, support your partner, and begin caring for the relationship between you. Get your copy here.
______________________________
Join the Courageous Together™ Program
Courageous Together™ isn’t just another course, it’s a trauma-informed roadmap that holds both of you in the healing process. If you’ve ever wondered “Where do we even start?” After betrayal, this program gives you the clarity and structure you need. It meets the betrayed partner’s need for safety while guiding the recovering partner toward real accountability, creating a path forward that neither of you has to figure out on your own.
Healing from betrayal is overwhelming in isolation, which is why Courageous Together™ brings you expert guidance, practical tools, and a supportive community of couples walking the same road. Inside, you’ll find a step-by-step framework, live support opportunities, and the reassurance that you’re not alone as you rebuild safety, restore trust, and move toward genuine connection.
You’ll have access to:
- A structured healing framework with step-by-step guidance
- Video lessons and worksheets to build safety, accountability, and connection
- The option to join live group circles and support calls with me
- A private, secure community of others walking the same path
Learn more and join us inside Courageous Together: www.geoffsteurer.com/courageous-together
______________________________
Stay Connected
If this episode resonated with you, please share it with someone who might need it. And don’t forget to leave a review! We’d love to hear how this podcast is supporting your healing journey.
______________________________
Watch on YouTube
Prefer video? You can watch full episodes of From Crisis to Connection on our YouTube channel: youtube.com/@FromCrisistoConnectionPocast.
______________________________
About Geoff Steurer
I am a licensed marriage and family therapist and Certified Clinical Partner Specialist (CCPS) with 25+ years of experience helping individuals and couples heal from the devastation of sexual betrayal and broken trust. I am the founder of the Courageous Together program, co-host of the From Crisis to Connection podcast, and co-author of Love You, Hate the Porn. My work integrates trauma-informed care, attachment theory, and practical tools for creating lasting safety and connection. I’ve been married to my wife, Jody, since 1996 and we are the parents of four children.
About Jody Steurer
Jody is the co-host of the From Crisis to Connection podcast, where she brings her thoughtful, common-sense perspective to conversations about healing, trust, and connection. She earned her bachelor’s degree in psychology from Brigham Young University and is an ACA-certified coach. Jody has years of experience in corporate training, small business leadership, and family life, and raising four children (two of them neurodivergent). She loves watercolor painting, landscape design, spending time outdoors, and snow skiing.