Emily Oster challenges traditional parenting advice with a data-driven perspective. She advocates for selective ignorance, urging parents to focus on joy rather than obsessing over every little decision. This approach helps reduce anxiety and enhances the fun of parenting. A memorable anecdote reveals how sometimes the best response to worries is simply not to think about them. The conversation highlights the balance between being informed and enjoying the parenting journey.
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insights INSIGHT
Data-Driven Parenting
Emily Oster applied her economist training to parenting, resulting in her book, Cribsheet.
The book advocates for data-driven parenting decisions but concludes with an anecdotal insight about overthinking.
question_answer ANECDOTE
The Bee Sting
Emily Oster's pediatrician advised her not to worry about her daughter's potential bee sting allergy on a trip.
The child was later stung, and it was fine, proving the doctor's point.
volunteer_activism ADVICE
Avoid Overthinking
Don't worry about everything that could happen as a parent.
Focus on being present, fun, and attentive instead of worst-case scenarios.
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A Data-Driven Guide to Better, More Relaxed Parenting, from Birth to Preschool
Emily Oster
In 'Cribsheet', Emily Oster applies her economic perspective to the challenges of early parenting. The book debunks myths and conventional wisdom by analyzing research and scientific studies on various parenting issues such as breastfeeding, circumcision, sleep training, and childcare. Oster emphasizes that there is often no single 'right' answer and that decisions should be based on a combination of data and what works best for each family's unique circumstances. The book aims to empower parents with a decision framework, helping them navigate the complexities of parenting with a calm and informed approach.
Emily Oster is a writer and a thinker after our own heart. Frustrated with all the bad parenting advice—most of which seems to be based on old wives’ tales and ridiculously bad data—she set out to apply her economist training to the subject of parenting. What kind of sleep training is best? Formula or breastfeeding? Screen time, good or bad?
The result was her book Cribsheet: A Data-Driven Guide to Better, More Relaxed Parenting from Birth to Preschool, which is worth reading and recommending to anyone with young kids. But what’s so interesting about the book is where it ends, which is not with some data driven insight but something completely anecdotal, and yet totally true. Oster, about to take her daughter on an international trip, anxiously asked the pediatrician what would happen if her daughter was stung by a bee while they were away. What if she’s allergic? What if something bad happens? You know the script, what if, what if, what if?
The doctor’s reply: “I’d just try not to think about that.”
I think about that advice all the time because it’s pretty broadly applicable to a lot of things in parenting. We can get caught up in every tiny decision and miss the enjoyment of parenting and the part of this that’s supposed to be fun. It just pushed against some of my worse instincts as a parent to just obsess over everything. Sometimes you just have to accept that you cannot control everything. That’s hard, but it’s part of the fun. Also, the kid was eventually stung by a bee, and it was totally fine.
Selective ignorance seems like a dangerous parenting strategy, and, of course, if practiced all the time, would be. But there is no way you’re going to be a good dad if all you do is worry about everything that could possibly happen. There’s no way you’ll be present or fun or attentive if your mind is constantly running through worst case scenarios. There’s no way you’ll get the big decisions right if you’re sweating every tiny decision.
There are some things it’s better not to think about. There are some times when we just need to accept that we’re winging it. There are some problems we’ll just have to solve when we get to them--if we even have to get to them. In the meantime, we’ve got plenty of other things to do...so go do it!
The Daily Dad 