Explore the intricate dance of vulnerability and defensiveness in relationships. Learn why partners often react protectively and how this can derail meaningful connections. Discover tools to stay grounded and avoid being baited into reactivity. The hosts share personal stories and practical strategies to foster emotional safety, self-regulation, and empathy. Delve into the importance of understanding your partner's emotional capacities and master the art of effective communication during tough conversations.
46:28
forum Ask episode
web_stories AI Snips
view_agenda Chapters
auto_awesome Transcript
info_circle Episode notes
question_answer ANECDOTE
Vulnerability Backfires
A therapy client used a vulnerability tactic during an argument, but their partner responded defensively.
The client questioned the tactic's effectiveness and felt frustrated.
insights INSIGHT
Control in Relationships
We cannot control our partners or how they respond to our vulnerability.
Focusing on our own regulation and self-oriented expression is key.
volunteer_activism ADVICE
Protective Strategies
Understand protective strategies are self-serving responses to perceived threats.
Defensiveness, shutting down, and criticism are examples of protection.
Get the Snipd Podcast app to discover more snips from this episode
In this episode, the hosts explore the emotional complexity of being vulnerable in relationships and not receiving the supportive response we hope for. When partners often respond in protective ways—like shutting down or snapping back—can feel frustrating and disheartening—especially when you’re trying to be vulnerable and connect. Understanding what’s happening under the surface of that defensiveness and learning how to respond can completely shift the dynamic between you and your partner. Listen to today’s show to learn how to stay grounded, break negative cycles, and build true emotional safety—even when your partner is still reactive.
In this episode of Relationship Advice, we discuss relationship topics such as:
Protective Responses
How To Avoid Being “Baited” Into Reactivity
Tools To Stay In Vulnerability/Curiosity When You Partner Shuts Down
Internal vs. External Control
Tuning Into Your Window of Tolerance
How To Build Lasting Safety In Relationships
and much more!
Give Me Discounts!
Prolon - Visit ProlonLife.com/IDO to claim your 15% discount and your bonus gift.
PXG - VisitPXGApparel.com/IDO or use promo code: PODAPP-IDO to save 10% off your Spring/Summer 2025 Collection order.
If you love this episode (and our podcast!), would you mind giving us a review in iTunes? It would mean the world to us and we promise it only takes a minute. Many thanks in advance! – Colter, Cayla, & Lauren
Relationship Advice