1226: James Kimmel, Jr. | No Even Scores in the Science of Revenge

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Oct 21, 2025

Dr. James Kimmel Jr., a Yale researcher, dives into the neuroscience of revenge, revealing it activates the same brain areas as addiction. He discusses how imagined grievances can lead to real retaliatory desires, linking this to various forms of violence, from bullying to mass shootings. Kimmel proposes that forgiveness is the antidote to revenge, emphasizing how revenge ruins relationships and perpetuates cycles of pain. He also highlights the need for early education to manage these impulses, positioning revenge as a significant societal concern.

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INSIGHT

Revenge Uses Addiction Circuitry

Revenge activates the brain's pleasure and craving circuitry, producing short but powerful dopamine highs.
That same nucleus accumbens/dorsal striatum system drives addictions like drugs, gambling, and social media.

INSIGHT

Perceived Grievances Spark Real Violence

Imagined grievances trigger real revenge cravings and can scale from playground bullying to genocide.
Perceived victimization, even if manufactured, mobilizes the same neural drive toward retaliation.

ANECDOTE

Near-Deadly Revenge Moment On A Farm

As a teen, James Kimmel's dog was shot and his mailbox was blown up, which provoked intense revenge fantasies.
He almost tracked and confronted the attackers with a gun but stopped after realizing the permanent cost to his identity and future.

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Your brain on revenge looks like your brain on drugs. Here, Dr. James Kimmel, Jr. explores the neuroscience of vengeance and the power of forgiveness.

Full show notes and resources can be found here: jordanharbinger.com/1226

What We Discuss with James Kimmel, Jr.:

Revenge activates the same brain circuitry as drug addiction. When we experience grievances, our brain's pain centers light up, triggering cravings for revenge that activate the nucleus accumbens and dorsal striatum — the same pleasure and addiction pathways used by cocaine, gambling, and alcohol. This explains why revenge feels temporarily euphoric but leaves us wanting more.
Most violence stems from perceived victimization, not inherent evil. Nearly all forms of human violence — from playground bullying to terrorism and genocide — originate from revenge-seeking behavior. The perpetrator almost always views themselves as a victim first, making revenge the root cause of mass shootings, intimate partner violence, gang conflicts, and even war.
Imagined grievances trigger real revenge desires with real-world consequences. It doesn't matter whether victimization is real or manufactured — if it feels real in your head, it produces genuine revenge cravings. This explains how leaders like Hitler used the "stab in the back" myth to mobilize a nation, and why mass shooters nurse perceived slights that no one else remembers.
Revenge addiction destroys relationships and keeps you trapped in the past. Unlike self-defense (which protects your future), revenge always looks backward, creating a preoccupation with past wrongs. It damages every relationship, increases anger and anxiety, and paradoxically makes you feel worse after the initial dopamine hit fades — all while fearing retaliation.
Forgiveness is the neurological cure — and you can learn it. Science now shows we're hardwired for forgiveness as much as revenge. Forgiveness actually stops pain rather than just covering it up, shuts down revenge cravings, and reactivates your prefrontal cortex. Dr. Kimmel's "Nonjustice System" — a role-play trial method tested at Yale — gives you a practical way to be heard, hold someone accountable in your mind, and ultimately release yourself from past wounds. More tools and insights coming in part two later this week.
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