The Jim Fortin Podcast Ep 257: Your Identity Confirms Itself
Have you ever fully realized that your primary relationships are a reflection of you?
The title of this episode is “Your Identity Confirms Itself” and it does that by moving you into relationships that confirm who you think you are.
Let me give you the best example to demonstrate that we engage in relationships that confirm who we are.
Let’s say that someone believes they are not worth a whole lot and they hold and have low self-value. As a result, they will seek to be in relationships that confirm this low self-value.
An example is this: Ever seen someone in an abusive relationship? And, then after some time they leave the relationship, and you think, “Wow, I’m so glad they got out of that bad relationship.” And…a few months later, you hear they are back in a relationship, and someone says, “I don’t get it, this new person is as bad to them as the last person.”
Why does this happen? It happens because our relationships confirm to us who we think we are, and the point of this episode is to take it one step further and have you look at your own relationship alignments.
A person who thinks they are not worth a lot and deserves abuse will attract someone who does not value others a lot and abuses them. The abused attract abusers and abusers attract those who want to be abused.
Why? Two aligned identities. One person sees themself as valueless and the other sees people as valueless and together, they are the perfect match.
So, in your own life…the more aligned the identities in your closet relationships, the stronger and better the relationship will be. You may not be in an abusive relationship, but you do the exact same behavior in areas of your own life.
If you want better relationships, further explore your own identity and your values and engage in relationships that support your own self-value.
Transformational Takeaway: Your relationships will only be as strong as the alignment of identities.
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With Gratitude, Jim Fortin