PsycHacks Episode 580: Modern women (you can't have it both ways)
Dec 19, 2025
This discussion explores the evolving roles of modern women in society, highlighting their struggle to balance sexual freedom with the desire for respectability. Historical contrasts reveal how the expectations of 19th-century courtship differ drastically from today’s dating scene. The podcast delves into the implications of using terms like 'lady' in contemporary contexts, while examining the idea that traditional roles may be fading. Engaging insights on the economics of dating add a unique perspective to these cultural shifts.
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Historical Meaning Of 'Lady'
- Historically, 'lady' was defined by refusing sex before lifetime commitment, creating a distinct social role and higher transaction value.
- Orion Taraban argues modern courtship norms would have insulted a 19th-century lady because they treat sex as possible before commitment.
Modern Use Of 'Lady' Is Symbolic
- Modern women often keep the label 'lady' to signal low body count rather than pre-marital sexual abstinence.
- Taraban asserts group membership requires the behavioral restrictions that originally defined the group, so the label no longer fits most women.
Role Extinction And Gentleman Obsolescence
- Taraban claims the 'lady' role is functionally extinct, with only a tiny percentage marrying as virgins.
- He links the disappearance of ladies to the obsolescence of the gentleman role in courtship.