Dating Like Mr. Darcy I Dr. John-Paul Heil

Sep 18, 2025

Dr. John-Paul Heil, a Core Fellow at Mount St. Mary's University with expertise in history and Catholic anthropology, explores romance through the lens of Jane Austen’s works. He humorously contrasts Mr. Darcy's awkward courtship with Fanny Price’s steadfastness. Heil discusses the essence of virtue in love and the idea of prudent concealment, linking Austen's perspectives on masculinity and femininity to practical dating insights. The episode emphasizes authentic love through self-giving acts, blending literary analysis with thoughtful romantic guidance.

47:34

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Episode notes

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ADVICE

Confess Clearly And Courageously

Be direct and decisive when you pursue someone you truly care about, even if it feels awkward or imperfect.
Avoid passive games; confession and clear intent are crucial to move a relationship forward.

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ADVICE

Resist Pressure To Marry Unvirtuous Partners

Refuse pressure to marry someone unvirtuous even when family and society insist.
Practice polite but firm refusal when conscience warns you someone is morally unsound.

insights

INSIGHT

Courtship As Moral Formation

Jane Austen explores what virtue looks like in romance and treats courtship as a moral practice.
Marriage trains us in self-giving love and shapes our habits toward eternal ends.

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Dating Like Mr. Darcy and Miss Fanny Price

00:25 • 7min

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Virtue, Austen, and Truthfulness in Courtship

07:22 • 16min

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Prudent Concealment: Darcy, Crawford, and Compassion

23:42 • 16min

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Sexual Difference and Practical Dating Advice

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St. Thomas Aquinas's Summa Theologiae is a monumental work of systematic theology, aiming to present a comprehensive overview of Christian doctrine. It's structured around questions and articles, exploring various aspects of faith and reason. The Summa covers topics such as God, creation, the human person, salvation, and the sacraments. It's considered a cornerstone of Catholic theology and has profoundly influenced philosophical and theological discourse for centuries. Its enduring relevance lies in its systematic approach and integration of faith and reason.

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Mansfield Park

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The novel follows Fanny Price, a young girl from a poor family who is sent to live with her wealthy uncle and aunt, Sir Thomas and Lady Bertram, at Mansfield Park. Fanny navigates the complexities of her new environment, dealing with the mistreatment by some family members and the kindness of her cousin Edmund. The story unfolds with the arrival of the charming but morally dubious Crawfords, leading to a series of scandals and moral dilemmas. Ultimately, Fanny's integrity and compassion guide her through the challenges, and she finds love and a sense of belonging with Edmund.

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Published posthumously in December 1817, *Persuasion* is Jane Austen's last completed novel. The story revolves around Anne Elliot, a 27-year-old woman who, at the age of 19, was persuaded to break off her engagement to Captain Frederick Wentworth due to his lack of wealth and connections. Eight years later, Anne and Captain Wentworth, now a successful naval officer, meet again, setting the stage for a second chance at love and marriage. The novel explores themes of love, social class, regret, and the consequences of pride and persuasion, reflecting the societal norms and expectations of the Regency era in England.

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The Nicomachean Ethics is Aristotle's most renowned work on ethics, focusing on the science of the good for human life. The text is divided into ten books and discusses the concept of eudaimonia, often translated as 'happiness' or 'flourishing,' which is achieved through living a virtuous life. Aristotle argues that eudaimonia is an activity of the soul in accordance with virtue, emphasizing the importance of reason, moral virtues, and the pursuit of excellence. The work also explores the division of the soul, the role of rationality in human life, and the ultimate goal of human activity, which is to achieve happiness through virtuous actions and a complete life.

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Alasdair MacIntyre's "After Virtue" is a highly influential work in moral philosophy that critiques modern ethical theories and proposes a return to virtue ethics. MacIntyre argues that modern moral philosophy has lost its way, leading to a fragmented and incoherent understanding of morality. He traces the historical development of ethical thought, identifying the decline of virtue ethics and the rise of emotivism and other relativistic approaches. MacIntyre proposes a revival of virtue ethics grounded in the Aristotelian tradition, emphasizing the importance of character development and the cultivation of virtuous dispositions. His work has had a profound impact on contemporary ethical debates, inspiring renewed interest in virtue ethics and its application to various social and political issues.

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Pride and Prejudice

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Published in 1813, 'Pride and Prejudice' is a novel that revolves around the lives of the Bennet family, particularly the second eldest daughter, Elizabeth. The story is set in the early 19th century and explores themes of love, societal expectations, and personal growth. The novel centers on Elizabeth's tumultuous relationship with the wealthy and proud Mr. Darcy, whose initial arrogance and reserve gradually give way to a deeper understanding and mutual respect. Through their interactions, both characters learn to overcome their prejudices and flaws, leading to a transformative journey of self-discovery and redemption. The novel also delves into the societal pressures on women to secure marriages, the importance of family, and the nuances of social hierarchy during the British Regency period.

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Sense and Sensibility

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Published in 1811, 'Sense and Sensibility' is Jane Austen's first published novel. It tells the story of the Dashwood sisters, Elinor and Marianne, who, along with their mother and younger sister Margaret, are forced to leave their family estate after their father's death. The novel explores the contrast between Elinor's practical sense and Marianne's emotional sensibility as they experience romantic relationships and heartbreak. Elinor falls in love with Edward Ferrars, who is secretly engaged to another woman, while Marianne becomes infatuated with the unscrupulous John Willoughby. Through their experiences, Austen delves into themes of love, social class, and the balance between reason and emotion necessary for personal happiness.

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Northanger Abbey is a coming-of-age story that satirizes the Gothic novels of the late 18th century. The novel follows Catherine Morland, a young and naive girl who loves reading Gothic novels. When she is invited to stay at Northanger Abbey, the home of the Tilney family, her imagination runs wild with expectations of mystery and horror. However, the reality of the abbey is far from her Gothic fantasies. The novel explores Catherine's growth as she learns to distinguish between fiction and reality, and it critiques the societal norms and expectations of her time. Written by Jane Austen, the book was completed in 1803 but published posthumously in 1817 along with Persuasion.

Dr. John-Paul Heil investigates how virtuous courtship, compassionate secrecy, and sexual difference—as presented in Jane Austen’s novels—are essential for discerning authentic love and practicing self-giving in Catholic romance.

This lecture was given on April 22nd, 2025, at United States Naval Academy.

For more information on upcoming events, visit us at thomisticinstitute.org/upcoming-events.

About the Speakers:

John-Paul Heil is a Core Fellow in history, philosophy, Catholic anthropology, English, and theology at Mount St. Mary's University. He received his Ph.D. in history from the University of Chicago and is pursuing an MBA in marketing. He has received multiple awards from the U.S. and Italian Fulbright commissions. His writing has appeared in Time, Smithsonian, The Week, and Los Angeles Review of Books. He is the books editor at the University of Pennsylvania's Dappled Things.

Keywords: Charity, Compassionate Secrecy, Culture, Feminine Genius, Henry Crawford, Masculine Genius, Mansfield Park, Romance, Sexual Difference, Pride and Prejudice

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