The Allender Center Podcast

Bickering, Kindness, and the Deep Roots of Love

9 snips
Sep 5, 2025
Join Becky Allender, Dan Allender, Steve Call, and Lisa Call, authors of The Deep-Rooted Marriage, as they explore the complexities of marital relationships. They discuss how even small disagreements can reveal deeper insights and strengthen connections. The conversation emphasizes the importance of kindness and curiosity in navigating life transitions, household dynamics, and emotional challenges. With personal anecdotes and insights into the impact of oxytocin on intimacy, they offer hope for fostering resilience and a deeper bond in marriage.
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ANECDOTE

Pizza Oven That Exposed Bickering

  • Steve and Lisa describe a pizza-oven incident that morphed into repeated sniping and accusations.
  • The story shows how small tasks can trigger light contempt and bickering in couples.
INSIGHT

Mental Load Drives Quiet Resentment

  • Research shows moms carry roughly 71–73% of household cognitive labor and physical tasks, creating chronic mental load.
  • That disproportion links to women's stress, depression, burnout, and relationship strain.
INSIGHT

Empty Nest Reveals Hidden Wounds

  • 'Gray divorce' rose because couples who postponed relational work wake up later with unresolved hurts.
  • Busy family logistics can mask deep relational gaps until retirement or empty nest reveal them.
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