The Human Intimacy Podcast Forgiveness: The Misunderstood Path to Healing and Human Intimacy (Episode #61)
Forgiveness:
The Misunderstood Path to Healing and Human Intimacy
In this heartfelt and powerful episode of the Human Intimacy Podcast, Dr. Kevin Skinner and MaryAnn Michaels dive into the complex, often misunderstood topic of forgiveness—especially within relationships affected by betrayal and emotional wounds. Using real-life role-play, personal insight, and professional wisdom, they explore what forgiveness is—and isn’t.
Together, they examine the common misconceptions surrounding forgiveness, such as equating it with blind trust or minimizing deep pain. They clarify the distinctions between love, trust, and forgiveness, and how rebuilding trust must be an intentional and ongoing process.
Drawing from Janis Abrahms Spring’s framework in How Can I Forgive You?, they outline four types of forgiveness:
- Cheap forgiveness,
- Refusal to forgive,
- Acceptance,
- Genuine forgiveness
Through this lens, they highlight the importance of emotional honesty, boundaries, and the reparative dance between the one who was hurt and the one who caused harm.
MaryAnn also introduces a reflective visualization exercise called “The Field of Grace”, inviting listeners to explore how and when to release the emotional burdens they've been carrying. Both Dr. Skinner and MaryAnn compassionately affirm that forgiveness is a process—not a moment—and that true healing often comes in unexpected ways.
This episode is a must-listen for anyone navigating the difficult terrain of relational repair, self-awareness, or trauma recovery.
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References & Resources Mentioned
- Spring, J. A. (2004). How Can I Forgive You? The Courage to Forgive, the Freedom Not To. HarperCollins.
- Brown, B. (2015). Rising Strong*. Spiegel & Grau. (Referenced for the "marble jar" trust analogy)
- Skinner, K. (2017). Treating Trauma from Sexual Betrayal: The Essential Tools for Healing. KSkinner Publishing.
- Visualization Exercise: The Field of Grace, shared by therapist and colleague Karen Strange
- Concepts referenced from EFT (Emotionally Focused Therapy) and betrayal trauma research
- PTSD criteria related to betrayal trauma, particularly avoidance and emotional isolation