The Human Intimacy Podcast

Creative & Intellectual Intimacy: Growing, Playing, and Building Meaning Together Episode Summary In this episode of the Human Intimacy Podcast, Dr. Kevin Skinner and MaryAnn Michaelis explore creative and intellectual intimacy—two often overlooked but deeply powerful ways couples build connection, trust, and shared meaning. Rather than viewing intimacy as a checklist or a linear process, they describe it as a living, dynamic experience—one that ebbs and flows through shared ideas, curiosity, problem-solving, creativity, play, and growth. Through personal stories—reading books aloud early in marriage, building businesses, learning to dance, creating art, and dreaming about the future—they illustrate how couples grow closer when they think, create, and imagine together. The conversation also highlights how intellectual intimacy becomes a meaningful trust-builder, especially after betrayal, when partners begin sharing what they are learning, how they are changing, and what is happening in their inner world. When paired with creativity—planning, building, playing, or envisioning something together—these forms of intimacy foster bonding, growth, and renewed joy in the relationship. Listeners are invited to reflect on a simple but transformative question: Are we growing together—or have we stopped creating and learning side by side? For those who want to deepen these conversations and continue growing together, Dr. Skinner and MaryAnn invite listeners to the Second Annual Human Intimacy Conference (March 13–14). The conference brings together leading voices in healing, intimacy repair, grief, sexual reintegration, and relationship growth—and offers couples a powerful opportunity to learn together, reflect together, and strengthen both intellectual and creative intimacy. 🎟 Register here and receive 40% off for a limited time: 👉 Coupon Code: 40off https://humanintimacy.zohobackstage.com/HumanIntimacy2ndAnnualConference#/    

Verbal & Emotional Intimacy: Using Your Voice to Create Deeper Connection Episode Summary In this episode of the Human Intimacy Podcast, Dr. Kevin Skinner and Maryanne Michaelis continue their exploration of intimacy by focusing on verbal and emotional intimacy. They discuss how curiosity, vulnerability, and emotional expression create deeper connection—while assumptions, fear, and unspoken emotions quietly erode it. Through personal stories, clinical insight, and practical examples, they show how verbal intimacy often opens the door to emotional intimacy—and how safe, intentional communication strengthens relationships with partners, children, and community. The episode also addresses why intimacy can feel unsafe after trauma or betrayal and how to begin rebuilding connection in healthy, realistic ways. Key Topics Covered The connection between verbal intimacy and emotional intimacy Why curiosity (“Tell me more”) deepens connection How assumptions block intimacy—even in long-term relationships Using “I feel” statements instead of blame or shame Emotional safety, boundaries, and timing in disclosure The role of community in helping people find words after trauma Applying intimacy skills in parenting and everyday relationships Understanding inner circles of trust and emotional access Notable Concepts Referenced Psychological safety as the foundation for intimacy Mirror neurons and emotional attunement Self-disclosure vs. emotional flooding Differentiation in relationships Trauma-informed communication The healing power of shared experience and community 🌟 Upcoming Event: Second Annual Human Intimacy Conference The themes discussed in this episode—connection, vulnerability, emotional safety, and repair—will be explored in depth at the upcoming Human Intimacy Conference. 📅 March 13–14 📍 Online | Mountain Time This two-day conference is designed for individuals and couples seeking healing and deeper connection after betrayal. It includes: Separate individual and couples tracks Live and recorded expert presentations Trauma-informed yoga sessions On-demand access to all recordings Bonus access to last year’s full conference recordings 🎟️ Special Discount: Use coupon code 40OFF to receive 40% off registration (Valid through the end of January) 🔗 Register here: https://humanintimacy.zohobackstage.com/HumanIntimacy2ndAnnualConference#/ Listener Reflection Questions Who in my life feels safe enough for deeper verbal and emotional intimacy? Where do I assume instead of asking curious, open questions? What emotions have I been holding inside that may need safe expression? Closing Thought Verbal and emotional intimacy grow when we show up, stay curious, and speak honestly—without blame or assumption. Intimacy isn’t about perfect words; it’s about presence, safety, and the courage to be seen.  

Psychological Intimacy: The Foundation of Trust, Safety, and Healing After Betrayal In this episode of the Human Intimacy Podcast, Dr. Kevin Skinner and MaryAnn Michaelis take a deeper dive into the seven types of intimacy, focusing specifically on psychological intimacy as the foundation of all connection. They explore how honesty, trust, loyalty, and commitment are disrupted by betrayal—and why secrecy and deception, more than behaviors alone, create trauma. The discussion highlights how vulnerability, accountability, and repair rebuild safety over time, especially in relationships impacted by betrayal trauma. This episode offers clarity, compassion, and practical insight for couples navigating healing and reconnection. Resources Relationship Intimacy Test & Intimacy Pyramid Free assessment and companion materials HumanIntimacy.com → Free Courses → Companionship Course Reclaim: Healing from Pornography and Rebuilding Your Life Podcast and course for individuals seeking recovery from unwanted sexual behaviors Available at HumanIntimacy.com Rise: Hope & Healing After Sexual Betrayal Podcast and course created specifically for betrayed partners Available at HumanIntimacy.com Human Intimacy Conference – March 13–14, 2026 Online conference featuring leading experts on individual healing, recovery, and relationship repair Registration link: 2nd Annual Human Intimacy Conference 2026 Use 40off to get 40% off your registration  

The 7 Types of Intimacy: Reclaiming Connection in a Disconnected World Episode Summary In this milestone 100th episode of the Human Intimacy Podcast, Dr. Kevin Skinner and MaryAnn Michaelis reflect on two years of conversations—and over 50,000 downloads—by returning to the very heart of their work: human intimacy. This episode introduces Dr. Skinner’s Intimacy Triangle (or Pyramid), a framework he developed more than 20 years ago to help individuals and couples understand that intimacy is far more than sex. Instead, deep, lasting connection is built from the ground up through seven distinct but interconnected forms of intimacy: Psychological Intimacy – the foundation of safety built on trust, honesty, loyalty, and commitment Verbal Intimacy – sharing information and everyday experiences Emotional Intimacy – expressing feelings, fears, hopes, and vulnerabilities Cognitive / Intellectual Intimacy – engaging ideas, beliefs, and curiosity together Creative Intimacy – bonding through shared projects and co-creation Spiritual Intimacy – connection that transcends words, often felt in shared meaning, values, or sacred moments Physical / Sexual Intimacy – the natural expression that emerges when the other layers are present Dr. Skinner and MaryAnn explore how modern culture often reverses this order—placing sexual intimacy at the foundation—and how this inversion contributes to loneliness, disconnection, and relational distress. When intimacy is rebuilt from the bottom up, relationships become safer, deeper, and more resilient. This episode also sets the stage for upcoming conversations that will break down each layer of intimacy in depth, offering listeners practical tools for healing, repair, and growth. Key Takeaways Intimacy is multidimensional, not synonymous with sex Psychological safety is the cornerstone of all healthy connection Skipping layers of intimacy leads to counterfeit connection and deeper loneliness When intimacy is repaired holistically, emotional and physical closeness naturally follow Strong relationships are foundational to mental health, resilience, and well-being Resources Mentioned Free Human Intimacy Podcast Companion Course Includes: The Intimacy Triangle / Pyramid A self-scoring intimacy reflection tool The Relationship Intimacy Test 👉 Available at HumanIntimacy.com Book: Rebuild Your Relationship After Sexual Betrayal by Dr. Kevin Skinner (Includes access to the Relationship Intimacy Test) Upcoming Event Dr. Skinner will be offering an in-depth two-hour training for couples on the Intimacy Repair Method at the upcoming conference: 🌿 2nd Annual Human Intimacy Conference Dates: March 2025 What to Expect: Expert presentations Live Q&A Practical tools for rebuilding intimacy after betrayal Deep dives into connection, safety, and repair 🔗 Register here: https://humanintimacy.zohobackstage.com/HumanIntimacy2ndAnnualConference#/ If you’re beginning a new year with a desire for deeper connection, healing, and meaningful relationships, this episode offers both a powerful framework and a hopeful path forward.

Nine Simple Practices That Strengthen Relationships Summary In Episode #99 of the Human Intimacy Podcast, Dr. Kevin Skinner and MaryAnn Michaelis celebrate their 99th episode by sharing nine powerful practices couples can use to strengthen connection, deepen trust, and build meaningful intimacy. Each principle is grounded in years of clinical experience, neuroscience, and relationship research—while remaining practical and accessible for real-life relationships. Together they explore why emotional safety is the foundation of all connection, the importance of ownership over blame, and how consistent attunement builds emotional closeness. They emphasize spending intentional time together, rebuilding trust through small daily actions, learning to emotionally regulate before communicating, and facing—not avoiding—conflict. They also highlight how positive relational interactions nurture bonding and why dreaming and planning for the future together creates shared hope and purpose. Listeners are encouraged to start small, picking one area to work on, knowing that meaningful relationships are built one intentional step at a time. Key References & Influences These concepts draw from established research and recognized thought leaders in relationships, trauma, emotional regulation, and neurobiology: Polyvagal Theory & Safety Porges, S. W. (2011). The Polyvagal Theory: Neurophysiological Foundations of Emotions, Attachment, Communication, and Self-Regulation. Emotional Attunement & Attachment Siegel, D. J. (2010). The Mindful Therapist: A Clinician’s Guide to Mindsight and Neural Integration. Trust and Relationship Repair Gottman, J. & Silver, N. (2015). The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work. Gottman, J. (2011). What Makes Love Last? Ownership vs. Blame / Emotional Responsibility Brown, B. (2015). Rising Strong. Conflict Resolution & The Zeigarnik Effect Zeigarnik, B. (1927). On Finished and Unfinished Tasks. Psychologische Forschung. Hope & Future Orientation Seligman, M. (2018). The Hope Circuit: A Psychologist’s Journey from Helplessness to Optimism. Trauma, Safety & Human Connection van der Kolk, B. (2014). The Body Keeps the Score. Conference Invitation If you’re ready to go deeper in strengthening your relationship, we invite you to join us at the Human Intimacy 2nd Annual Conference. Use coupon code 50off to receive 50% off registration (limited time): https://humanintimacy.zohobackstage.com/HumanIntimacy2ndAnnualConference#/   Online Supplemental Course: (It’s Free) The Human Intimacy Companion Course  

The Gift of Your Presence: Why Showing Up Matters More Than You Think In this heartfelt Human Intimacy Podcast episode, Dr. Kevin Skinner and MaryAnn Michaelis explore the powerful impact of truly being present in the lives of the people we love. During a season filled with busyness, distraction, and endless to-do lists, they invite listeners to slow down and consider the deeper message presence communicates: You matter. I see you. I care. Through meaningful personal stories—celebrations, graduations, family milestones, healing conversations, and everyday moments—Kevin and MaryAnn reflect on how presence fosters connection, emotional safety, belonging, and joy. They also discuss how curiosity, vulnerability, emotional attunement, and reducing distraction can transform relationships, reduce loneliness, and nurture human intimacy. Listeners are encouraged to offer the gift of presence intentionally this season: celebrate others’ wins, sit with them in pain, express appreciation, forgive where needed, and take time to let people feel seen and “felt.” Because when we show up, we don’t just fill space—we change hearts, regulate nervous systems, strengthen bonds, and remind each other we are not alone. Resources & Links Human Intimacy Conference — March 13–14, 2026 Join leading experts including Dr. Jill Manning, Dr. Karen Strange, and others for two powerful days of learning, healing, and connection. Includes pre-conference Q&A with experts and full session recordings. 👉 Register here: https://humanintimacy.zohobackstage.com/HumanIntimacy2ndAnnualConference#/ Use Coupon Code: 50off for 50% off (valid through December 31) Human Intimacy Courses & Online Programs Explore courses to support healing from betrayal, emotional regulation, rebuilding intimacy, and relationship connection. 👉 https://www.humanintimacy.com Referenced Concepts / Recommended Reading Dan Siegel — Feeling Felt & Interpersonal Neurobiology Irving Yalom — Presence and relational connection Research on loneliness as a public health concern and the power of human connection

The Stories We Tell Ourselves: How Meaning, Shame, and Assumptions Shape Our Relationships Summary In this episode of the Human Intimacy Podcast, Dr. Kevin Skinner and licensed clinical social worker Marianne Michaelis explore the powerful—and often invisible—stories we tell ourselves about who we are and how others see us. Even when people share the same experience, their interpretations can be radically different, shaped by past wounds, shame, fear, and unmet needs. Through clinical examples, personal stories, and everyday moments of misunderstanding, they unpack how the brain naturally fills in gaps to create meaning—and how those meanings can quietly dictate our emotions, reactions, and relationships. The conversation highlights common shame-based narratives such as “I’m too much,” “I’m not enough,”or “I don’t matter,” and how these stories become internalized as truth over time. Dr. Skinner and Marianne emphasize the importance of awareness, fact-checking, emotional ownership, and curiosity—both toward ourselves and others. Healing begins when we slow down, speak our stories in safe places, challenge old assumptions, and allow compassion to replace judgment. The episode closes with an invitation to approach others—and ourselves—with deeper curiosity, asking not “What’s wrong?” but “What’s the story?” Resources & References Skinner, K. – Treating Trauma from Sexual Betrayal Tutu, D. & Tutu, M. – The Book of Forgiveness Brown, B. – I Thought It Was Just Me (But It Isn’t) Siegel, D. – Mindsight Human Intimacy Podcast – Episode on Emotional Ownership Journaling as a tool for emotional processing and self-reflection Concepts referenced: Shame narratives Emotional ownership Fact-checking internal stories Fight-or-flight responses and meaning-making Compassion vs. judgment The Human Intimacy 2nd Annual Conference (discount 50% off Coupon Code = 50off  

  Emotional Ownership: Understanding and Responding to Your Inner World Summary In this timely episode, Dr. Kevin Skinner and MaryAnn Michaelis explore one of the most essential—and most avoided—skills in relationships: emotional ownership. As the holiday season intensifies stress, loneliness, old family wounds, and relational tension, the ability to understand and take responsibility for our internal world becomes even more vital. Together, they break down what emotional ownership looks like and what it does not look like. Using real-life examples, including a vulnerable story from Dr. Skinner, the conversation highlights how quickly couples slip into blame, shame spirals, and reactive “hot” responses. MaryAnn emphasizes the role of tone, kindness, and Gottman’s concept of positive sentiment override, while Dr. Skinner demonstrates how owning one’s emotional experience opens the door to connection rather than conflict. Listeners will learn: Why people often don’t know what they feel—and why that’s okay How holiday dynamics intensify emotional triggers The difference between owning an emotion and shifting responsibility How tone and delivery change everything in difficult conversations How shame, avoidance, and catastrophizing block intimacy Why slowing down your internal experience leads to deeper connection How emotional ownership becomes the foundation of relational safety, trust, and maturity The episode ends with practical guidance on taking responsibility for your own emotions, choosing kindness, and knowing when deeper therapeutic work is needed. Dr. Skinner and MaryAnn invite listeners to reflect honestly on their emotional patterns and make conscious choices that lead to healthier, more intimate relationships. Resources Mentioned Books & Authors Desmond Tutu & Mpho Tutu — The Book of Forgiving Explores the fourfold path to forgiveness, including moving through anger, grief, and acceptance. John Gottman — Research on Bids for Connection & Positive Sentiment Override Essential relationship frameworks explaining how couples build or deplete emotional trust. Dr. Kevin Skinner — Treating Trauma from Sexual Betrayal A clinical guide to understanding trauma responses, emotional dysregulation, and healing after betrayal. Concepts & Clinical Frameworks Emotional Ownership vs. Emotional Shifting Taking responsibility for internal experience rather than blaming or projecting. Tone & Delivery in Conflict How softening your approach changes relational outcomes. Fight–Flight–Freeze–Fawn Responses Understanding physiological reactions to emotional threat. Shame Spirals Patterns where individuals turn against themselves in moments of relational stress. Betrayal Trauma Responses & Trigger Cycles Why certain relational moments evoke intense reactions. Therapeutic Support Individual Therapy When emotions feel overwhelming, confusing, or out of control. Couples Therapy For recurring patterns of blame, avoidance, or emotional disconnection. Links Human Intimacy Conference – 50% Off Through December 2025 (Coupon Code: 50off) 2nd Annual Human Intimacy Conference 2026 (Coupon code available on website; offer valid through Dec 31, 2025) Human Intimacy Podcast Homepage https://www.humanintimacy.com/podcast Human Intimacy Main Site https://www.humanintimacy.com  

The Somatic Experience: How the Body Stores Trauma and the Path to Physiological Healing In this powerful episode of the Human Intimacy Podcast, Dr. Kevin Skinner and MaryAnn Michaelis, LCSW, explore the essential connection between trauma, physiology, and healing through a somatic lens. Drawing on the work of Peter Levine, Bessel van der Kolk, Deb Dana, and polyvagal theory, they highlight how trauma is not only a psychological experience but a physical one stored in the muscles, nervous system, and internal energy of the body. Dr. Skinner and MaryAnn discuss why individuals—especially betrayed partners—often disconnect from their bodies after chronic stress, betrayal trauma, or overwhelming life experiences. They examine how fight, flight, and freeze responses affect the nervous system, how chronic cortisol disrupts mood and metabolism, and why many trauma survivors struggle to sense or interpret their own physiological cues. Through stories, research, and lived experiences, the hosts illustrate how the body keeps the score and how healing requires learning to listen to internal sensations rather than pushing them aside. They offer practical tools such as somatic tracking, Peter Levine’s completion techniques, trauma-informed yoga, breathing exercises that access the vagus nerve, and movement-based approaches for releasing stored energy. The episode includes a guided somatic check-in where listeners rate their tension level and are invited into a simple three-minute breathing practice designed to lower physiological arousal. Dr. Skinner and MaryAnn also normalize the experience of increased anxiety during quiet moments and suggest alternative vagus nerve–based exercises and sound-based practices (like the “vu” exhale) to support regulation. They close by emphasizing self-compassion, intentionality, and noticing “glimmers” of safety as signs that the body is returning to calm. Listeners are also invited to deepen their healing journey by attending the 2nd Annual Human Intimacy Conference, where leading experts will share tools for recovering from sexual betrayal, infidelity, and building deeper, safer relationships. References & Resources (Updated) Key Authors & Theories Peter A. Levine, PhD Waking the Tiger: Healing Trauma — foundational work on Somatic Experiencing and how trauma is stored and released through the body. Bessel van der Kolk, MD The Body Keeps the Score — seminal text on how trauma affects the nervous system, brain, and body. Stephen W. Porges, PhD Polyvagal Theory — explains the body's hierarchy of safety, fight/flight, and shutdown responses. Deb Dana, LCSW The Polyvagal Theory in Therapy — introduces “glimmers” and practical tools for nervous-system regulation. Practices Mentioned Trauma-Informed Yoga Somatic Experiencing (SE) Vagus Nerve Stimulation / “Basic Exercise” (Polyvagal-based) Breathwork for parasympathetic activation Sound-based regulation (e.g., “vu” exhale with hand on abdomen) Movement-based release (running in place, shaking, kicking safely, dancing) Grounding and body-scan exercises Human Intimacy Resources HumanIntimacy.com – Articles, courses, and assessments on betrayal trauma, recovery, and deeper connection. 2nd Annual Human Intimacy Conference – Coupon Code: 50%off —A live event featuring leading experts (including Dr. Kevin Skinner and colleagues) focused on healing from sexual betrayal and infidelity, rebuilding safety and trust, and creating deeper, more connected relationships. Human Intimacy Intensives – Including betrayal trauma intensives and couples intensives that incorporate trauma-informed yoga and somatic work.

The Transformative Power of Gratitude: How Noticing the “Why” Deepens Connection In this Thanksgiving-week episode of the Human Intimacy Podcast, Dr. Kevin Skinner and MaryAnn Michaelis explore the healing power of gratitude—both in everyday life and in relationships. What begins as a simple conversation about what they’re grateful for quickly deepens into an exploration of why certain people, moments, and memories hold meaning. Drawing on the work of Dr. Martin Seligman, Dr. Skinner emphasizes that identifying the “why” behind our gratitude—not just naming the object of it—creates a more emotionally rich and neurologically uplifting experience. MaryAnn highlights the reality that family can be both a source of deep gratitude and profound pain. For those who lack supportive family relationships, they offer practical ways to find gratitude in mentors, ancestors, teachers, or meaningful communities—the “tribes” we discover along the way. Together, they reflect on how gratitude acts as a natural antidepressant, shifting our emotional state, reducing stress, increasing joy, and strengthening attachment bonds. Listeners are invited to slow down, reflect on the people who have shaped them, and express gratitude in intentional, meaningful ways—especially during the holiday season. Dr. Skinner closes with a heartfelt message of appreciation for listeners, along with a reminder that practicing gratitude is one of the most powerful tools for healing, connection, and resilience. Resources Mentioned & Related Readings Books & Research Referenced Martin Seligman – Flourish; research on gratitude, positive psychology, and well-being Brené Brown – The Gifts of Imperfection, Daring Greatly (concepts of shame, worthiness, and connection) Thich Nhat Hanh – Teachings on connection, compassion, and human interdependence John Gottman, PhD – Research on positive sentiment override and gratitude in relationships Robert Emmons, PhD – Leading researcher on gratitude as a psychological tool Stephen Porges, PhD – Polyvagal Theory (connection, co-regulation, and emotional safety) Therapeutic Concepts Referenced Gratitude journaling The “why” exercise from Martin Seligman Gratitude as a natural antidepressant Finding your tribe / community-based support Intergenerational resources (ancestral resilience) Practical Tools & Strategies Write down what you are grateful for and why it matters Gratitude lists (daily or weekly) Expressing gratitude directly to loved ones Identifying people from past or present who modeled love, stability, or compassion Using gratitude to shift emotional states and reduce anxiety or depression Human Intimacy Resources Human Intimacy Conference 2026 (Coupon Code: Black-Friday discount mentioned in episode) HumanIntimacy.com for courses, podcasts, and healing resources Upcoming episodes focused on healing, connection, and relationship resilience