Ryan Holiday And Dr. Becky Kennedy On Emotional Vaccination (PT 1)
Jan 6, 2024
32:02
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Dr. Becky Kennedy, clinical psychologist and founder of the Good Inside company, joins Ryan on the podcast. They discuss emotional vaccination, coping with stress, educating kids on emotions, and the impact of childhood memories on parenting. They also explore the importance of emotional regulation in both adults and children.
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Quick takeaways
Emotional vaccination involves developing coping strategies and resilience by anticipating and preparing for strong emotions before they occur.
Parents have the opportunity to break the cycle of poor emotional regulation by acknowledging their own triggers and creating a safe environment for their children to navigate their emotions.
Deep dives
The Importance of Emotional Vaccination
Dr. Becky Kennedy discusses the concept of emotional vaccination in parenting and how it extends to other areas of life. Emotional vaccination involves anticipating and preparing for strong emotions before they occur, allowing oneself to develop coping strategies and resilience. By acknowledging that feelings are a natural part of life and that it's okay to experience a wide range of emotions, parents can help their children build emotional regulation skills. This approach shifts the focus from immediate happiness to fostering the ability to handle and adapt to challenges, ultimately leading to long-term happiness and fulfillment.
The Role of Memory and Intergenerational Transmission
Dr. Becky highlights the impact of memory and intergenerational transmission in shaping emotional regulation and coping abilities. Our childhood experiences and how our parents responded to our distressing emotions often influence how we handle similar situations as adults. Parents have the opportunity to break the cycle by acknowledging their own emotional triggers and learning to cope with them. Through open communication, empathy, and validation, parents can create a safe environment for their children to navigate their emotions, encouraging them to tap into their coping abilities and build resilience.
The Meta-Skill of Emotional Regulation
Emotional regulation is emphasized as a fundamental and universal skill for both children and adults. Dr. Becky highlights stoicism's true essence, which is not suppressing emotions but rather developing the ability to respond thoughtfully and constructively to emotions. By separating ourselves from intense emotions, questioning their origins, and practicing emotional acceptance, we enhance our coping abilities. This meta-skill extends beyond parenting and becomes a foundational skill in all areas of life, enabling individuals to navigate challenges, build resilience, and align with their values.
Reframing Happiness and Resilience
Dr. Becky challenges the traditional notion of happiness as a constant state achieved by avoiding all distress or challenges. Instead, she proposes that resilience, adaptability, and emotional flexibility are key characteristics of happiness. Parents are urged to focus on equipping children with the skills to navigate and tolerate distressing emotions rather than always providing immediate relief or ensuring constant happiness. By reframing happiness as the ability to adjust and adapt to life's uncertainties, parents can help children build emotional resilience and a solid foundation for long-term well-being.
On this weekend episode of the Daily Dad Podcast, Ryan talks with clinical psychologist Dr. Becky Kennedy on how we emotionally vaccinate, the ability to cope through stress, educating our kids on emotions and her new book Good Inside
Dr. Becky Kennedy is an American clinical psychologist who is founder and chief executive officer of the Good Inside company, an online parenting advice service. She has been called the "millennial parent whisperer" by Time Magazine and is a number one New York Times bestseller for her book Good Inside. As a mom of three, when she was first starting out, she practiced a popular behavior-first, reward-and-punishment model of parent coaching. But, after a while, something struck her: those methods feel awful–for kids and parents. She put together everything she knew about attachment, mindfulness, emotion regulation, and internal family systems theory, and translated those ideas into a new method for working with parents.