Eric Zimmer | Essential Wisdom: How To Move From Knowledge & Experience Towards Compassion

Jul 5, 2022

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If we look at the transtheoretical model of change, in the first stage you are not aware at all that a change is even needed. Then, we move into a state of pre-contemplation as the rumblings are growing louder. Next, we have the contemplation phase where you are actively thinking of making. a change. Finally, you get to a stage where you are actually ready to make a plan and change. All of those steps are part of the change process and anywhere you are on that path you have to honor the change you're in. - Eric Zimmer

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Wellness + Wisdom Episode 456

Behavior Coach, Certified Interfaith Spiritual Director, Podcast Host, and Writer, Eric Zimmer, returns to Wellness + Wisdom to share the concept of befriending your negative emotions, how to both treat and prevent depression with self-love, the difference between emotions and feelings plus determining when it's time for a change in your life.

With everything that you have been through and have learned, what is blocking you from being more compassionate towards yourself and others? What is one way that you can cultivate greater compassion?

By the end of this episode, you will have the tools to have a better relationship and understanding of your negative thoughts and emotions to essentially let them go.

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Listen To Episode 456 As Eric Zimmer Uncovers: [1:30] Befriending Our Negative Emotions

Eric Zimmer
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W+W 320 Eric Zimmer: The One You Feed
Wellness and Breathwork Practices with Josh Trent - The One You Feed Podcast
437 Josh Trent | Death & Rebirth: Why I’m Saying Goodbye to Wellness Force…
The importance of befriending our negative emotions rather than just pushing them away or neglecting them.
Different healing modalities to help you explore all of your emotions and work through what you're thinking and feeling.
Unpacking Eric's background as a Certified Interfaith Spiritual Director and how he helps people on their wellness journey.
Exploring what causes people to lean toward hedonism and nihilism.

[21:00] Preventing & Treating Depression with Self-Love

Dr. Joe Dispenza
What we can do to help prevent and heal depression through self-love.
Serenity Prayer
OMOS: On My Own Side by Dr. Aziz Gazipura
What it means to be on your own side and why that is such a powerful practice.
Eric's Spiritual Habits Program
The list of daily practices in Eric's Spiritual Habits program to help you in your journey toward greater self-love.

[25:00] Breaking Down Feelings vs Emotions

Exploring how many emotions actually exist.
The difference between feelings and emotions.
Breaking down Eric's Emotional Storm model and how to apply it to yourself and what you're experiencing.
The Tiny Book of Essential Wisdom - Forrest Landry
Why emotion-based triggers are the most important triggers that we can develop.

[34:00] The Power of Community & Connection to Heal Addiction

Dr. Gabor Maté
Breaking down what addiction is; a disconnection.
Eric's own healing journey from addiction and why connection was a big part of it; especially early on.
Why we have to put a lid on feelings if our behavior starts to feel out of control.
The difference being in a safe community makes as we're able to feel our feelings more deeply.
How doing internal self-talk and the inner work practices to heal negative emotions have positively impacted his relationships.
Why he felt broken in his previous marriage despite all the work and healing he did compared to now with Ginny.
The very first place Eric and Ginny start to look to solve a problem in their relationship: within themselves first.

[46:00] Determining When It's Time for Change

Why it's so important to not shame people who aren't ready or simply don't want to change.
Exploring Eric's Stages of Change Model and why sometimes we believe that a change isn't necessary at all.
The different steps people go through that often lead them to make a big change in their life.
How to honor the change you're in and do the work that is appropriate for that stage.
Asking the question: What makes people want to change?
Why pain and dissatisfaction often lead to change but hope has to be a part of it too.
BJ Fogg PhD
The key impact of positive reinforcement vs negative reinforcement when in the process of life change.
Charles Duhigg
388 Dr. Jud Brewer | Unwinding Anxiety
What wellness means to him now compared to his answer from his first interview.
The One You Feed 500th episode: Feeding Your Good Wolf with Listeners of the Show!!

Power Quotes From The Show Shifting Your Mindset with Self-Love

"I both prevent and treat depression with self-love. However, self-love is not something that we can just flip a switch on. It takes time even years to develop a deeper self-love practice with yourself. When it comes to preventing depression with self-love, it's really about not allowing myself to get locked in ruminative states where my brain swirls round and round especially self-critical thoughts. For treating depression, I work on recognizing and stopping shameful thought patterns like "I shouldn't feel this way," or "I shouldn't get depressed," because those can really take over in my mind." - Eric Zimmer

Be On Your Own Side

"Being on your own side is not about being right in an argument or anything like that but always wanting the best and healthiest thing for yourself. I always want to support myself and have my own back. That is a really powerful place to come from for self-love and personal development growth." - Eric Zimmer

Why You Shouldn't Resist Negative Emotions

"How do I befriend my negative emotions, not ostracize them, and create a healthier relationship with them? When we see greed, anger, or hatred as only bad, it's like cutting off a part of ourselves sometimes. What you resist persists and if you're fighting against these negative emotions all of the time in a sense you're engaging with them in a very strong way. Not resisting them so much can be much more helpful as you observe and move through them." - Eric Zimmer

Links From Today's Show

About Eric Zimmer

A behavior coach, Certified Interfaith Spiritual Director, podcast host, and writer, Eric Zimmer, is endlessly inspired by the quest for a greater understanding of how our minds work and how to intentionally create the lives we want to live.

At the age of 24, Eric was homeless, addicted to heroin and facing long jail sentences. In the years since he has found a way to recover from addiction and build a life worth living for himself.

Eric works as a behavior coach and has done so for the past 20 years. He has coached hundreds of people from around the world on how to make significant life changes and create habits that serve them well in achieving the goals they’ve set for themselves.

In addition to his work as a behavior coach, he currently hosts the award-winning podcast, The One You Feed, based on an old parable about two wolves at battle within us. With nearly 500 episodes and over 25 million downloads, the show features conversations with experts across many fields of study about how to create a life that has less suffering and more fulfillment and meaning.

Guests on the show include scientists, authors, researchers, teachers, thought leaders, spiritual gurus, and public figures and all offer practical, actionable wisdom that listeners can readily apply to their daily lives in order to act their way into a better experience of living.

His story and his work have been featured in the media including TedX, Mind Body Green, Elephant Journal, the BBC and Brain Pickings.