Gary Gulman, a comedian known for his clever takes on life, shares his journey from a bullied boy to a confident performer. He opens up about growing up sensitive in a tough environment filled with unkindness, including from his older brothers. Gary discusses the fine line between humor and vulnerability, how childhood experiences shape adult identity, and the importance of authenticity in comedy. He also reflects on love, mental health struggles, and redefining success beyond wealth, illustrating the profound connections forged through shared challenges.
Gary Gulman's comedy is shaped by his experiences with bullying and societal expectations of masculinity, allowing him to celebrate vulnerability and empathy.
His relationship with his wife, Sade, serves as a transformative force in his healing journey, redefining his understanding of love and emotional intimacy.
Deep dives
Subverting Expectations in Comedy
Gary Goldman employs subversion of expectations as a key tool in his comedic performances. Despite his imposing physical presence of 6'6” and an athletic build, he captivates audiences with unexpected humor that often includes obscure literary references and clever wordplay. His comedy thrives on celebrating vulnerabilities, particularly his own experiences with depression and a difficult upbringing. This unique approach not only entertains but also resonates deeply with audiences, as he blends humor with personal honesty and insightful commentary.
Navigating Masculinity and Vulnerability
Goldman's upbringing in a rigidly masculine environment significantly influenced his comedic voice and perspective. He reflects on the narrow definitions of manhood prevalent during his childhood, which often prized toughness and belittled sensitivity. This environment fostered a struggle for self-acceptance, as he faced bullying while nurturing his affection for typically 'unmasculine' activities like reading and crafting. Despite these challenges, Goldman channels his experiences into comedy that empathizes with the underdog and critiques the harsh norms of masculinity.
Empathy Rooted in Working-Class Experience
Goldman's working-class background profoundly shapes his worldview and comedic material. He draws from personal hardships, such as financial struggles and the complexities of growing up without his father's presence, to foster empathy and deeper understanding of others' challenges. This insight not only informs his jokes but also guides his moral compass in advocating for fairness and kindness towards those in difficult positions. He emphasizes the importance of recognizing how socio-economic factors greatly impact one's opportunities and the inherent advantages often lost on those born into privilege.
Resilience and Personal Growth Through Love
Goldman's relationship with his wife, Sade, plays a crucial role in his journey of healing and self-discovery. Their love story unfolded amidst his most severe depressive episode, illustrating the power of vulnerability and support in overcoming adversity. Sade's unwavering presence and commitment to his recovery allowed Goldman to confront his struggles and re-evaluate his views on love and acceptance. Through this experience, he learned the nuances of being a better partner, emphasizing kindness and understanding in conflicts and the importance of emotional intimacy.
Comedian Gary Gulman is used to dealing with bullies. He grew up with older brothers, who he describes as "aggressive" and “unenlightened,” and he’s witnessed plenty of unkind behavior from his peers in the New York City comedy scene. This is all despite being, in his words, “very, very sensitive.”
This week, Gary talks about managing that sensitivity, standing up for his principles, and becoming more secure in who he is as a comedian and a man.
Podcast production by Andrew Dunn.
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