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Loving BDSM WTF is Soft BDSM?
Nov 14, 2025
The hosts dive into the concept of 'soft BDSM,' unpacking its gentle, connection-focused nature. They debate whether it truly exists as a distinct form or simply blends into the broader BDSM spectrum. Concerns arise around how 'soft' labels might mislead newcomers about safety. Misinformation from low-quality sources complicates public perceptions. They explore the evolution of kink language and how younger practitioners are reshaping terminology to suit their experiences. Ultimately, the hosts encourage personal definitions over rigid classifications.
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Labels Shape Consent And Shared Language
- Labels matter because they create shared shorthand in kink communities and affect communication and consent.
- Kayla Lourdes argues you should be able to define any label you use so partners share expectations.
Define Labels Before You Use Them
- Define your terms when you use labels like "soft BDSM" to ensure partners understand your expectations.
- Ask and explain what a label means to you before assuming shared definitions.
Soft vs Hard Creates A False Binary
- Calling a style "soft" risks implying BDSM is binary (soft vs hard) which misrepresents the spectrum of play.
- John Brownstone warns that "soft" can give people a false sense of safety despite all BDSM carrying risk.
