If you missed the Neurodiverse Love Conference, tickets are still available for $98 at: www.neurodiverselove.com. You will be able to hear the 27 pre-recorded conference presentations & check out some of the Q&A chats from the conference. All of the conference sessions will be available to watch until May 15, 2023.
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The topic for this solo episode with Mona was recommended by one of the podcast listeners While this episode is focused on the neurotypical/non-autistic partners perspective, it may also be of interest to the autistic partners.
Mona's separation began in February, 2016, before she and her ex-husband knew they were a neurodiverse couple. The separation started because Mona kept asking herself "If nothing changes in my marriage, in the next 3-5 years, how will I feel?" Although the answer to that question brought up A LOT of emotions, Mona knew she needed to separate from the man she had been married to for almost 30 years and still loved. Although Mona and her ex agreed to a 6 month separation, it actually lasted almost 2.5 years.
About 9 months before she and her ex divorced, in May, 2018, Mona discovered what it meant to be a neurodiverse couple. During that time, Mona learned everything she could about autistic adults, neurodiverse relationships and all the ways in which neurodiversity played out in her marriage, her family and with many other people in her life. It soon became apparent that "love was not enough" and that all the "unintentional" hurt and pain that Mona and her ex had caused each other during their 30 year marriage could not be healed quickly, or when they continued to trigger each other.
During this episode Mona talks about:
- The losses are real
- Letting go of the dreams you had for your relationship
- Acceptance of "what is" can feel like settling
- Understanding your wants, needs, core values, dreams, non-negotiables and boundaries
- Things to consider before separating
- Unintentional hurt and pain caused before understanding neurodiversity
- Masking and unmasking changes your relationship
- The importance of forgiveness, healing and repair
- Getting clarity about why you want a separation or divorce
- Ending the relationship as friends, or on friendly terms
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If you are interested in learning more about the support groups that Mona offers for neurotypical/non-autistic partners or neurodiverse couples,
please send her a DM on Instagram @neurodiverse_love, an email at: neurodiverselove4u@gmail.com. or visit her website at: www.neurodiverselove.com
Thanks for being a part of the Neurodiverse Love Community!
Neurodiverse Love with Mona Kay